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Ground Zero is next door!


kesava

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Posted (edited)

Your neighbor recently visited the Congo on a mission trip, works in a chem lab, came home with a fever, yada yada yada...bada bing- he's a running, killing, enraged zombie. He's just torn through the door to the room your in like it was card board. NOW QUICKLY-

Look to your right, that is your weapon.

Look to your left, that is your shield.

What do you have?

I have a pillow as my weapon and a remote my shield. /facepalm

I'm pretty screwed.... Might need to prepare better.

Edited by kesava
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Top Posters In This Topic

Guest mosinon
Posted

I'd throw the dog at him and hope for the best. Cause there is no way I am giving up the remote.

Posted

looks like to my left is my nail clippers, guess I get to give them a manicure

looks like to my right is my trash pail, guess I will throw it at him or empty the thing and put it on his head

Then, draw my firearm and put 16 rounds into his trash can head after than manicure made him look purdy

Call me old fashioned but one must have nice nails...

Posted
I'd throw the dog at him and hope for the best. Cause there is no way I am giving up the remote.

That's one of the advanced techniques taught by several tactical schools.

Kudos for your knowing it instinctively.

- OS

Posted

To my right is a pack of Zingers....guess I'll need the extra sugar to run fast, because on my left is a stack of paperwork. Of course, if I time it just right, I may be able to get a few good papercuts on him before I have to run.........given it's a crawler. :D

Posted

You said, "Your neighbor," so I guess there is a chance you mean that I am at home when this happens. If so, I have a firearm on me or right next to me (when in bed.)

However, since I am reading this at work, that makes things more challenging. I can't carry a firearm at work so right now I'd probably have to try and use the small garbage pail that is next to my desk as a 'shield'. The best thing close to me to use for a 'weapon' against a zombie is probably this:

Leaning002.jpg

I spent not a little time carving that handle out of a piece of cherry and hate to think of breaking it against some z's skull but it would be better than getting bitten. Luckily, I turned the shaft out of a piece of seasoned oak so the zombie sumbich's skull should break before it would. Too bad I didn't use my other cane, today. I made it out of a piece of twisted dogwood (turned the ends to thin them and make them less heavy) and it has a brass hame for a handle:

HameHandleTwistedDogwood.jpg

Posted

tough crap for him...

To my right is a 45. As to the left, is a Finn M39...

Guest FiddleDog
Posted

to my left is my G26, to my right are my dogs...the 26 is a bit small to be an effective shield...

Guest Jared556
Posted

To my right is my 9mm to my left is my wife. I'd throw the wife in the way should buy enough time to unload the 9mm & then jump into the closet for the real pain maker. Lol

Posted

Coke Zero to the left, XD 40 on right hip, then pizza from Memphis Pizza Cafe....he ain't getting ma pizza.

Posted

Crap. I may be in for trouble here. I'm at home but the .380 is in the living room. So quick on my left is a box fan. Not much help but ahhh... on my right is my stereo. Neighbor loves rock and roll so I crank up the classical music and he grasps his head while it explodes. LOL!

Posted

Well its deer season and my Turk 38 8mm is in the corner ready and loaded. All I have to do is push the bolt closed to put one in the chamber and flip off the safety. If that don't work I'll throw something at him.

Guest DMasterson
Posted

To my right is my XD45... to my left is the door. I grab my go-bag with my M4 and ammo and I use the door to leave without harming him at all, in the hopes that he moves on and starts the full scale zombie outbreak. Hopefully he starts with my upstairs neighbor who plays his music too loud at 1 in the morning....

Wouldn't you beat yourself up if YOU were the reason that the zombie outbreak didn't happen after all of our waiting?

Posted

To my left is my CZ82, (I'm a lefty) to my right is my beagle. I guess I'd throw the beagle at him, them put 2 9x 18's in his head. I love my dog , but master needs to save himself.

Posted

To my right is my Glock 23. To my left is either my roommate or my minifridge. Since my desk blocks the entrance pretty well anyway (my room is set up very much like an office), I will probably not need the shield. But if I do...that would be a toss up. The roomie pays bills, but the minifridge holds my beer and my protein. If I just got back from a workout, and got a decent paycheck, that would probably mean the roommate. Otherwise, probably the minifridge.

Posted

Um. A WWII era rifle, 7.62x54r, which also can be used to crush a skull, plus a .45 is not "sufficient?" Please explain.

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