Is marriage obsolete? 4 in 10 say YUP!

[strickj]

Yes, it's obsolete.

Short answer - marriage changes nothing about a relationship.

Long answer - marriage is simply for a women to be able to say "I'm married" and to get a pretty and overpriced ring.

[mav]

Marriage: The only war in which you actually sleep with the enemy.

[Guest buttonhook]

im about to make mine obsolete....

[Chief07]

Marrage works for most people. Some it doesen't.

Been married over 30 years and it works for me.

Besides, I don't think I could find anybody else to

put up with me!

[Good_Steward]

I agree with Smith. The idea of marriage is a religious idea. I think the biggest reason marriage has such a bad rep now is because it IS viewed as a financial / legal arrangement. Much easier to walk away from an "investment" that's not performing to market standards vs a committment you have invested yourself in.

[lunarpowered]

Here's a question;

Which relationship shows the higher level of commitment?

1) A married couple with no kids, living in rented acommodation,

2) An unmarried couple with 2 kids, living in a property that is bought/mortgaged

That question in and of itself is a highly compelling argument and I believe #1 clearly

shows more commitment.

[Guest 6.8 AR]

Yes, it's obsolete.

Short answer - marriage changes nothing about a relationship.

Long answer - marriage is simply for a women to be able to say "I'm married" and to get a pretty and overpriced ring.

And, if your marriage is like either of these answers, you shouldn't have gotten married.

Unfortunately, there are too many people who think like this. I can only guess what

it will be like a generation or two from now.

I've been married for thirty years, and even while it has had it's ups and downs, I can't

think of anything I would change. We were married in a church, not by the state.

And I really don't give a damn about what some professor or some survey has to say

about it. It is complete rubbish. Without marriage, our civilization will continue to fall

apart. What's left will be tribal in nature and values will continue to tumble.

But, that is just my opinion. "If it feels good, do it" doesn't cut it in the long run.

A relationship can be had by anyone. That's only part of a marriage.

Edited November 19, 2010 by 6.8 AR

[mav]

...

I've been married for thirty years, and even while it has had it's ups and downs, I can't

think of anything I would change. We were married in a church, not by the state.

And I really don't give a damn about what some professor or some survey has to say

about it. It is complete rubbish. Without marriage, our civilization will continue to fall

apart. What's left will be tribal in nature and values will continue to tumble.

But, that is just my opinion. "If it feels good, do it" doesn't cut it in the long run.

A relationship can be had by anyone. That's only part of a marriage.

I agree, although I don't understand what you mean by "what is left will be tribal."

[Guest 6.8 AR]

Tribal in nature. No family unit to belong to. It will eventually become like a gang mentality

replacing a family unit. Maybe tribal wasn't the right word because even in tribes in Africa

there are marriage rituals and strict relationships based on higher orders. I should have said

"gang like".

[strickj]

And, if your marriage is like either of these answers, you shouldn't have gotten married.

Unfortunately, there are too many people who think like this. I can only guess what

it will be like a generation or two from now.

I've been married for thirty years, and even while it has had it's ups and downs, I can't

think of anything I would change. We were married in a church, not by the state.

And I really don't give a damn about what some professor or some survey has to say

about it. It is complete rubbish. Without marriage, our civilization will continue to fall

apart. What's left will be tribal in nature and values will continue to tumble.

But, that is just my opinion. "If it feels good, do it" doesn't cut it in the long run.

A relationship can be had by anyone. That's only part of a marriage.

I apologize for that and to anyone one else it may have offended.

Let me elaborate.

For me, love is not defined by a word, a set of phrases, or a ring. It does not need to be validated by a man with a book, the government or the tax man.

With that, the word 'marriage' changes absolutely nothing about the way a couple feels for one another.

[Smith]

I apologize for that and to anyone one else it may have offended.

Let me elaborate.

For me, love is not defined by a word, a set of phrases, or a ring. It does not need to be validated by a man with a book, the government or the tax man.

With that, the word 'marriage' changes absolutely nothing about the way a couple feels for one another.

Yeah it does. Just like citizenship means a lot more than being an alien or actually being enlisted in the military carries a lot more weight than just wearing camo and calling yourself SF .

[Guest 6.8 AR]

None necessary, strickj. I wasn't even criticizing you. It's an attitude a lot of people have.

I wish they would reconsider it, though.

[Guest drv2fst]

Marriage is the foundation of civilization. Without marriage civilization will cease to be. Duty to a family group is all that keeps men civilized. Take that away and we (myself included) are savages. Responsibility and accountability to others keeps people honest more than conscience or character.

Laws, rules of ethics, and commandments don't keep people from killing one another.

[TN-popo]

Well, discussing marriage outside of religious context doesn't exsist.

That's my point, outside of a religious context what's the diffference?

Agreed.

[Murgatroy]

That's saying though that marriage is more of a bond than living together and just being committed to each other. Marriage is simply a legal contract.

Agreed.

I only married my wife because she threw a fit about living in sin. 10 years was enough for her.

[Guest REDDOG79]

Getting married changed nothing in my relationship with my now wife of almost 1 year. We shared money, bought a house and took care of our kids before being married. the only thing that changed is I can now say "my wife" and it's legal and she changed her last name. We have been together for 9 years and had ups and downs. The piece of paper did not make me have more responsibility than I had before.

[Punisher84]

I'm not really surprised, so much as I am intrigued by some of the answers here.

I'm not against marriage, but I think those of you that think your love needs to be validated and made contractual to be true are pretty far off. I don't need anybody to rubber stamp my life. Maybe that's just the little anarchist in me.

[Guest Drewsett]

I have been with my wife for seven years. We have been married for three of them. I can honestly say that marriage DID change our relationship, even though we were sure that it wouldn't. I do feel more committed than I was before we were married, even though I didn't think that was possible.

As far as the religion is concerned...

Marriage IS a religious compact...it has been bastardized into its current form. I say that because I feel that the best way to solve the whole "gay marriage" debate is to call all unions performed by secular agents "civil union" and unions performed by clergy should be called "marriage". In the eyes of the government they would be the same, but it would hopefully end the arguments from the religious right that gay people shouldn't be allowed to "marry".

[Guest db99wj]

Marriage was the best thing that ever happened to me, it gets better every year. Will be 15 years this June.

[Guest Old goat]

I've done it twice, first one cost a fortune to get out of, worth every penny. stayed single for 10 yrs. Second one, we only dated for 6weeks(no neither of us were preg.) that was 12 years ago, its been a wonderful time. It doesn't surprise me that alot see it as obsolete.

[Smith]

I'm not really surprised, so much as I am intrigued by some of the answers here.

I'm not against marriage, but I think those of you that think your love needs to be validated and made contractual to be true are pretty far off. I don't need anybody to rubber stamp my life. Maybe that's just the little anarchist in me.

I agree but from a different standpoint. If you think marriage or a contract make a marriage commitment valid then your idea of marriage is way off. Love is an emothion that can ebb and flow .... or dissapear. Commitment does not/should not change with the emotional context of marriage. Commitment is not validated or ensured with legalities, but rather it is the other way around. When I got married it was my word that bonded me to my wife. Not her actions or relationship to me. Not the paper we signed. I said better or worse and that I would never leave her, my word means something and more people should think about that when they say it. If you can't stay through the worse, you won't stay through the best either. Just facts of life. A cermony guarantees nothing, but should mean much more than it does and there was a time when it did.

I would rather people stick to their word than have elborate ceromonies that mean little more than a overblown party.

Edited November 19, 2010 by Smith

[Chief07]

Marriage was the best thing that ever happened to me, it gets better every year. Will be 15 years this June.

Good for you! 15 years is a record any more.

It gets better as you both grow older together. 31 years.

Now that the kids are out of the house it's like we were back in high school!

Life is good.