Attention! General Palins Speech

[JG55]

General Palin Speech

Somewhere in England

June 5th, 1944(November 2 2010)

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The big camp buzzed with a tension. For hundreds of eager rookies, newly arrived from the states, it was a great day in their lives.*(Conservative Republican Women Candidates)*

Palin strode down the incline and then straight to the stiff backed “Guard of Honorâ€.She looked them up and down. She peered intently into their faces and surveyed their backs.She moved through the ranks of the statuesque band like an avenging wraith and, apparently satisfied, mounted the platform with Lieutenant Michelle Bachmann and Major General Christine O’Donnell, the Corps Commander, at her side.

General Palin arose and strode swiftly to the microphone. The men snapped to their feet and stood silently.Palin surveyed the sea of brown with a grim look. “Be seatedâ€, she said. The words were not a request,but a command. The General’s voice rose high and clear.

“Men, this stuff that some sources sling around about America wanting out of this Vote, not wanting to Vote, is a crock of bull****. Americans love to Vote, traditionally. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. You are here today for three reasons. First, because you are here to defend your homes and your loved ones. Second, you are here for your own self respect, because you would not want to be anywhere else. Third, you are here because you are real men and all real men like to Vote. When you, here, everyone of you, were kids, you all admired the champion marble player, the fastest runner, the toughest boxer, the big league ball players, and the All-American football players. Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise Liberals. Americans play to win all of the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to an American.â€

“My men don’t surrenderâ€, Palin continued, “I don’t want to hear of any Voter under my command being captured unless he has been hit. Even if you are hit, you can still Vote back.

“Don’t forget, “Palin barked, “you men don’t know that I’m here. No mention of that fact is to be made in any ballots. The world is not supposed to know what the hell happened to me. I’m not supposed to be commanding this Vote. I’m not even supposed to be here in Delaware. Let the first b*stards to find out be the *******ed Liberals. Some day I want to see them raise up on their p*ss-soaked hind legs and howl, ‘Jesus Chr*st, it’s the Goddam*ed Third Army again and that son-of-a-f*cking-b*tch Sarah Palinâ€.

(Snark).

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