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Posted

Trust me I have tried everything as has my wife. We have tried being nice about it as well as being upfront with my mother about it. She doesn't want anything to change. My father is more of a mental abuser and as far as I know he has never been physical with her. I have had her show up at my door crying over stuff he does and says though. Him and I have had words several times about how he treats her but he doesn't see it and my mother tolerates it. Not sure what else I can do if neither of them are going to complain about it. I have even talked to LE about some of the stuff that goes on and they said unless one of the parties involved complained there was nothing they could do. Even when I got into specifics I was told it was heresay because they didn't witness it and the parties weren't complaing about it.

The judicial system in my county leaves a lot to be desired. Even when I went to file a complaint about the death threats by my brother the court clerk said "open air" threats weren't against the law and nothing could be done. They did say I could sue in civil court for liable. I did a WTF, shook my head and walked out after a few more words between us becaue they have no clue about the law. Numerous officers said that unless my brother actually tries to kill me there is nothing they can do. When my brother was holding my father hostage I talked to the sheriff himself and he said his officers wouldn't go check because all they had was my heresay that something bad was going on.

Anyway you shake it my mother and father have made the bed they are laying in and they seem to be comfortable in it.

Dolomite

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Posted

I know how you feel DS, I have family that are like that as well..I find that I'm always happier when I'm at least 200 miles away from them. For the record, I live about 20 miles away from one of my brothers. he's a great guy!

a few others in the family? meh..wouldn't trust them with my finger nail clippings.

Posted

We had a really old family dog that was suffering and we had to put her down. We take our animals to Jackson Square Animal Clinic here in Oak Ridge, and that is where we brought her when it was time. Not sure if it was because we are longtime customers, but when the deed was done, they walked us past the checkout and out the door. I never got a bill. Might give them a call.

Posted

Dolomite,

I have just read thru this thread. Man, I thought my wife and I had some family problems, but nothing compared to yours. I don't know you other than from what you write on this forum but no one should have to go through so much. Just want you to know that people care and hope things get better for you.

Glenn

Posted

Dolomite I come from a similar situation. I haven't spoke to my father in years. My mother choses to stay in a bad situation. Basically she doesn't want to accept the reality of it. We have our holidays next door to moms "her sister" my father doesn't come over and I haven't been in side my home in years. My father does a good job of fooling people on the "outside" but aunt and wife know better I'm 58 and its been this way as long as I can remember and as my family gets smaller less people know the real situation. Unfortunately there is little I can do about it because its mothers choice

Posted

I appreciate everyone's words and understanding. I came in here to vent because it does help. Unfortunately nothing I can say or do on here or in person is going to change anything. My brother is still a heavy drug user that wants me dead, my father is still goig ot be the same and my mother seems oblivious to it all. We will have no more family holidays other than my wife and I doing our own thing because my son should be leaving for the Air Force soon. He was my biggest worry and I think he has made it out relatively unscathed mostly because he was shielded from them once he came into his impressionable years.

For my wife and I we will still live the way we have for a long time and deal with things as they come to the surface. We are prepared but you can only be so prepared before it starts to affect your life. Also, as some of you may know, if someone wants to get to you they will no matter prepared you are for to confrontation.

Dolomite

Posted
my mother seems oblivious to it all.

Dolomite

This is where I'am at but unless you've lived this , its hard to understand why it continues

best to ya and hope things work out

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