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The Lone Ranger's last request....


titan14

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The Lone Ranger's Last Request

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

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The Indian Chief proclaims,

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"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger..."

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"In honor of the Harvest Festival,

YOU will be executed in three days.

Before I kill you, I grant you three

requests.

What is your FIRST request???"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to

speak to my horse."

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The Chief nods and Silver is brought

before the Lone Ranger who whispers in

Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with

a beautiful blonde woman on his back.

As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the

Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

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The next morning the Indian Chief admits

he's impressed. "You have a

very fine and loyal horse,

But I will still kill you in two days.

What is your SECOND request???"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak

to his horse.

Silver is brought to him, and he again

whispers in the horse's ear.

As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the

horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again

returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette,

more attractive than the blonde.

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She enters the Lone Rangers tent

and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief

is again impressed.

"You are indeed a man of many talents,

But I will still kill you tomorrow.

What is your LAST request ?"

The Lone Ranger responds,

"I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

The

Chief is curious, but he agrees,

and Silver

is brought to

the

Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're

alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,

looks

him square in the eye and says,

"READ MY LIPS!!!

FOR ... THE ... LAST ... TIME ....

BRING POSSE!

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Posted (edited)

LOL.

Let me add one

Copy and Paste here

One day the Lone Ranger was out in the woods taking a pee, when suddenly a rattlesnake came out of the bushes and bit him on his dick. He gave a loud yell, and Tonto came running to his side.

"What has happened Kimo Sabi?"

"A snake bit me on my dick Tonto, your gonna have to go find a doctor and ask what to do."

Tonto left his friend to find help. Soon he came upon a town, and found the local doctor.

"Help! Kimo Sabi has been bitten by a rattlesnake! What should I do?"

The doctor replied: "Well, you will have to suck the poison from the wound, then bandage it up."

"Thank you doctor!" Tonto replied while running back out the door. He ran for a while until he found the Lone Ranger lying on the ground.

"Well, what did he say Tonto?" asked the ranger.

Tonto again looked at the wound, and then looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "He said your gonna die Kimo Sabi!"

Edited by vontar
Guest Hoosier70
Posted

That's funny I dont care who you are

Posted

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding through the desert. They were suddenly approached on all sides by hundreds of angry Indian warriors.

"Well Tonto, old friend, I guess we've reached the end of our trail". Said the Ranger

"What's this "WE" crap, pale eyes"? asked Tonto.

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