Most Embarrassing Moment?

[Guest Drewsett]

First time I took my wife to the range I forgot to tell her not to wear a tank top. I am proud of her in that when the inevitable happened, the gun went straight down to the counter before she tried to retrieve the hot casing from her boobs.

My wife did the same, and I told her how proud I was. She went from being embarrassed to being happy.

[Il Duce]

This happened when I first started working PD. After I got done with training and probation, they finally cut me loose on my own. This happened the first day I was alone to make it even worse.

I was on bike patrol, which gave me the ability to sneak up on people and ride in between parked cars in parking lots. I see a car with the lights on and engine running so I go check it out. I look in the front seat and the keys are in the ignition (I know some of you folks do that around here, but in Southern California that is a huge no no). I look in the back seat and see a baby blanket. I look harder and I see a little baby face wrapped in the blanket. I get pissed and think some stupid idiot left their baby in the car with the engine running while they went inside the store to get something.

I call it in and let dispatch know what's going on, some other units get sent out, but it's going to be a bit. My trainer is at home, but he was listening to the radio to make sure I was doing ok (He was a great trainer). He calls me on the cell phone, and I tell him what's going on. He tells me to break the window and get the kid out ASAP. I hang up and I start pounding on the window to see if the kid is even alive. Nothing. I really start beating the hell out of the window and rocking the car to see if I get some kind of reaction out of the baby. Nothing. I made as much noise as possible to get this baby to give me some kind of reaction. Nothing.

At this point my heart starts racing, I get really nervous, and decide I need to break the window. I walk to the front passenger side window (and this is where I find out windows are hard to break without a glass breaking tool) and break the window right as the other units pull up. I unlock the doors and go get the baby to check it's vitals. Everybody is around me worried about the baby. The tension couldn't get any worse. I remove the blanket from off of the baby.

Turns out, it was a very small Asian woman who was taking a nap in between classes, and used her kids blanket to keep warm. I didn't get in trouble, but I haven't lived it down to this day. I get reminded about it every few months.

LOL what was she? a 2ft tall asian?

[Ebow1]

Murphy I thought you were gonna say it was one of those realistic dolls that kids sometimes get stuck with as school assignments.

[Guest dboonekilledabearhere]

This happened several years ago while still married to my ex-wife. We were standing in the small lobby with several other people at church after Sunday School waiting for the senior class to finish up in the main auditorium. Her son was acting up so she said (or what she meant to say) "if you do not stop I am going to box your jaws". What came out of her mouth was...."if you do not stop I am going to jock your balls". She was a blonde. Same woman locked herself inside her car (or so she thought). True story.

[Dropkick Murphy]

LOL what was she? a 2ft tall asian?

She was maybe 4' 10'', but her face looked like she was 3 years old.

Murphy I thought you were gonna say it was one of those realistic dolls that kids sometimes get stuck with as school assignments.

I don't know which one would have been worse. Probably the doll haha!

[Punisher84]

She was maybe 4' 10'', but her face looked like she was 3 years old.

I don't know which one would have been worse. Probably the doll haha!

Dude what the hell was she on that YOU rocking the car didn't wake her up?!

[Dropkick Murphy]

Dude what the hell was she on that YOU rocking the car didn't wake her up?!

Well, what she told me was she had stayed up all night studying, then had to work, then took some finals at school and passed out in the parking lot. She was coherent once she woke up.

P.S. Your box is going out today dude.

[Punisher84]

Well, what she told me was she had stayed up all night studying, then had to work, then took some finals at school and passed out in the parking lot. She was coherent once she woke up.

P.S. Your box is going out today dude.

WOO HOO!

[Guest ADAM]

When I was 19 I had just bought a CBR 900, me and some friends decided to go to gatlinburg and cruise around and look for chicks. After being up there a few hours I picked up this chick from New York, as we went to park her car so we could go for a ride, I decided to show off alittle bit and power brake my bike at the red light(last redlight in gatlinburg). So as I was sitting there melting my back tire down, with her behind me in her car, the light turned green I let off the brake, sat down and with the hot sticky tire the bike grabbed and dumped me straight off the back and shot straight up in the air about 20 feet came down and did 2 flips. Needless to say everyone around was dying laughing(even the cops who showed up). I didnt get a ticket because he said the embarrassment was good enough, and I didnt get the chick either.

CBR 900rr 6000.00

damage to bike 4100.00

seeing someone act a fool priceless

[LagerHead]

Several years back my wife drops me and my youngest son off a barber shop. We had just moved to TN and had no idea where to go. As it turns out, this barber shop is one of those quintessential places where older gentlemen hang around and 'gossip' - in other words, a 4 year old isn't likely to have had his hair cut there in years.

Well, my son is one of 'those moods' and is asking about everything! I can hardly keep him holding still to get his hair cut. Barber finishes with him and as I'm climbing in the chair my son says he has to poop and if there is a bathroom? Nervous old barber points him to the back and starts cutting my hair. After a few minutes the barber gets concerned and asks if my son is ok? He advises there are cleaning chemicals in bathroom and did I need to check on him? I advise no he knows better. Barber goes back to cutting my hair. Just then a guy walks in the shop for a trim who has had both arms amputated and has prostetic arms with pinchers for hands. He sits down. (From this point forward everything plays out in slow motion). My son exits the bathroom and sits down a few chairs away from the new visitor. Then he notices! "Hey mister! What happened to your hands"? I about sh*% myself.

Turns out the guy was cool about it and shows my son how moving his arms makes his hands open and close. However, the barber is slower than cold tar and has only buzzed the sides and back of my head. I say it's good, pay him and leave. I look like Lyle Lovett! We're standing in the parking lot when my wife and other son show up. She takes one look at me and starts laughing so hard she's crying. We still laugh about the whole thing today.

Aaaah from the mouths of babes.

When my son was about 3 he had a stuffed Boston Terrier. As you know, they are mostly black with white bellies. He named his dog "Blacky." Once when in Centennial Park in Nashville he spotted two black gentlemen walking, one with a Boston Terrier on a leash. He saw "his dog" and screams at the top of his lungs, "Hey Blacky. Blaaaaaaackyyyyyyy. Hey Blacky!" We knew he was talking to the dog, but I'm sure everybody else was looking at us like I was the Grand Wizard of the KKK or something.

I ain't dumb enough to tell one on myself (and besides, there are too many), but I'll tell one on a buddy of mine ...

Many years ago, during a Christmas play at our church, my friend had this line: "My, but it's cold and blustery outside."

Problem was, he misplaced the "comma." The line came out like this: "My butt, it's cold and blustery outside."

The laughter caused his face to redden up like Rudolph's nose. To this day, he won't talk about it and I still laugh at him over it.

Man, that one had me in stitches. HI-larious.

This happened when I first started working PD. After I got done with training and probation, they finally cut me loose on my own. This happened the first day I was alone to make it even worse.

I was on bike patrol, which gave me the ability to sneak up on people and ride in between parked cars in parking lots. I see a car with the lights on and engine running so I go check it out. I look in the front seat and the keys are in the ignition (I know some of you folks do that around here, but in Southern California that is a huge no no). I look in the back seat and see a baby blanket. I look harder and I see a little baby face wrapped in the blanket. I get pissed and think some stupid idiot left their baby in the car with the engine running while they went inside the store to get something.

I call it in and let dispatch know what's going on, some other units get sent out, but it's going to be a bit. My trainer is at home, but he was listening to the radio to make sure I was doing ok (He was a great trainer). He calls me on the cell phone, and I tell him what's going on. He tells me to break the window and get the kid out ASAP. I hang up and I start pounding on the window to see if the kid is even alive. Nothing. I really start beating the hell out of the window and rocking the car to see if I get some kind of reaction out of the baby. Nothing. I made as much noise as possible to get this baby to give me some kind of reaction. Nothing.

At this point my heart starts racing, I get really nervous, and decide I need to break the window. I walk to the front passenger side window (and this is where I find out windows are hard to break without a glass breaking tool) and break the window right as the other units pull up. I unlock the doors and go get the baby to check it's vitals. Everybody is around me worried about the baby. The tension couldn't get any worse. I remove the blanket from off of the baby.

Turns out, it was a very small Asian woman who was taking a nap in between classes, and used her kids blanket to keep warm. I didn't get in trouble, but I haven't lived it down to this day. I get reminded about it every few months.

Good one. All in a day's work, mam.

[memphismason]

I was probably 7 or 8 years old. My cousin (2nd cousin) and I were playing at the family reunion and starting arguing about something, so her dad (my first cousin which is my mom's age) told us to sit down until we could quit arguing. I told him "You ain't my Daddy", and I took off running. I decided to turn around to see if he was chasing after me. After seeing that he wasn't I turned back around just in time to see that I was 3 inches from a tree. Next thing I know I woke up on on a park bench laying down with family members all standing around me, some were crying some were praying. My mom said I was out for about 5 minutes. To this day I am reminded of this at every Christmas get together.

[Oh Shoot]

I was probably 7 or 8 years old. My cousin (2nd cousin) and I were playing at the family reunion and starting arguing about something, so her dad (my first cousin which is my mom's age) told us to sit down until we could quit arguing. I told him "You ain't my Daddy", and I took off running. I decided to turn around to see if he was chasing after me. After seeing that he wasn't I turned back around just in time to see that I was 3 inches from a tree. Next thing I know I woke up on on a park bench laying down with family members all standing around me, some were crying some were praying. My mom said I was out for about 5 minutes. To this day I am reminded of this at every Christmas get together.

Far from my most embarrassing moment I'm sure, but in similar vein, I clothes-lined myself as a kid, running around in the neighborhood at night throwing cherry bombs into folks' gutters.

Caught me right under the chin, felt like I did a vertical 360 around the line I hit the ground so hard. My buddies ran on off, leaving me whoever's backyard it was, where it took a minute or two to get going again. Homeowner didn't find me there, though.

- OS

[Guest Glock23ForMe]

Far from my most embarrassing moment I'm sure, but in similar vein, I clothes-lined myself as a kid, running around in the neighborhood at night throwing cherry bombs into folks' gutters.

Caught me right under the chin, felt like I did a vertical 360 around the line I hit the ground so hard. My buddies ran on off, leaving me whoever's backyard it was, where it took a minute or two to get going again. Homeowner didn't find me there, though.

- OS

KARMA.... That's what that was.... Nonetheless, pretty funny though.

[Guest db99wj]

I was driving into a parking lot in Bartlett, where Sherwin Williams use to be on Stage Road (main road) and Stage Center (side street), for those familiar with the area. The entrance on Stage Center is just wide enough for two cars, but has a curb that seperates the drive with parking spaces. I turned in, so I was turning right, and basically did a 180 turn into the parking lot from the drive way area...never seeing that curb, which is about 18" to 24" wide with grass in the middle of the curbs, kinda looks like this " ll ", and went right over them. I'm thinking I might have got a little airborne! No flats, thanks to the 32" tires and no damage underneath, due to the great clearance. Nobody really saw me do it, but I could feel my face get red and I was looking around to see if anyone saw.

That happened.....today. I was lucky one of those little poles or something wasn't there.

[kb4ns]

I was driving into a parking lot in Bartlett, where Sherwin Williams use to be on Stage Road (main road) and Stage Center (side street), for those familiar with the area. The entrance on Stage Center is just wide enough for two cars, but has a curb that seperates the drive with parking spaces. I turned in, so I was turning right, and basically did a 180 turn into the parking lot from the drive way area...never seeing that curb, which is about 18" to 24" wide with grass in the middle of the curbs, kinda looks like this " ll ", and went right over them. I'm thinking I might have got a little airborne! No flats, thanks to the 32" tires and no damage underneath, due to the great clearance. Nobody really saw me do it, but I could feel my face get red and I was looking around to see if anyone saw.

That happened.....today. I was lucky one of those little poles or something wasn't there.

DUDE!!!! I hit that %^&*#^@ curb at least once a week!! I like sitting in that parking lot and watching traffic since the business is closed. It's the most jacked up place for a curb. At least I can tell you that a crown vic will take the pain time and time again!

[kb4ns]

By the way, this is one of my most embarassing moments - admitting in my previous post that my retarded ass hits the same curb weekly...

[Guest jackdm3]

[Guest db99wj]

DUDE!!!! I hit that %^&*#^@ curb at least once a week!! I like sitting in that parking lot and watching traffic since the business is closed. It's the most jacked up place for a curb. At least I can tell you that a crown vic will take the pain time and time again!

By the way, this is one of my most embarassing moments - admitting in my previous post that my retarded ass hits the same curb weekly...

Ok, that made my, mostly crappy day, much much better. I guess I hit it fast/slow enough that I just kind of bounced right over it, and the suspension took it in stride. It could have been a whole lot worse! You can sit in the entrance on stage road and never be seen. That row of Crate Myrtles is about to eat somebody!

[Guest jackdm3]

Ok, that made my, mostly crappy day, much much better. I guess I hit it fast/slow enough that I just kind of bounced right over it, and the suspension took it in stride. It could have been a whole lot worse! You can sit in the entrance on stage road and never be seen. That row of Crate Myrtles is about to eat somebody!

"Crepe" Myrtles. Know your foliage. Impress your special lady girlfriend.

[kb4ns]

"Crepe" Myrtles. Know your foliage.

Mmmm. Crepes.

[Guest jackdm3]

Crepes were the infamous temporary downfall of Ricky Bobby!

[kb4ns]

We sure have a lot of threads that start off as being about one topic and turn to food...

Looks like 82% of them to me.

[Guest jackdm3]

We sure have a lot of threads that start off as being about one topic and turn to food...

Looks like 82% of them to me.

Alright, y'all. Who did that?

[Guest Glock23ForMe]

We sure have a lot of threads that start off as being about one topic and turn to food...

Looks like 82% of them to me.

NUMBER CAUSED BY kb4....

Greater than 50%

[kb4ns]