Most Embarrassing Moment?

[Guest Glock23ForMe]

Wow...

I don't like you... See thread

[kb4ns]

Wow...

I don't like you... See thread

Just got back from there.

[buck1032]

Most embarrassing? Hmm, there are a lot of moments in my life that would count under that rule. However I will only talk about this one. Back in the late 90's I was stationed at the Naval Survival School at North Island. At the time we ran SERE, DEST and ATAHS. So for a basic SERE instructor to become a Desert Inst (at that time anyway) we had to go through the class that was held in July in El Centro. WHich was called Desert Shadow. For "Shadow" we usually had a multi-national class, Brit, Aussie, Canadian, etc. Well my number came up and I had to be a student at "Shadow". They teamed me with the Aussie SERE Inst. I thought "piece of cake", we should be able to spend our 5 days on the ground evading without getting captured rahter easily. Well evasion leg 1, night 1, my Delta team partner and I ran into "issues"/. It seems the Aussies run the SARNEG (google it if you dont know) a bit different. We start at 0, he started at 1. Everyone who has ever used UTM to land navigate can see there is going to be issues. So we make it through our first nights evasion because we did on hell of a dog leg, about 10k. We were tired and did I mention this is El Centro in July? It cools off to the high 80's/ low 90's at night. We are about 3k from our objective and this clown, my partner, the Aussie Survival Inst, is walking around at 0900 with his GPS saying "We've got to be close mate". Eventually I call in with the "other radio" SERE inst have to carry and tell the OIC where we are and WHY we are there. After about an hour of the Aussie walking aimlessly through the desert looking for two tan jerry water cans, I told him to either follow me or die here. Well me make our objective WAY late, we whould have been there before sunrise. So we make a desert shade shelter and bed down. My partner complains all day long about the heat and is in out of ther shelter all day. Come on dude, like stading in the direct sunlight is any better than our shelter??? So we had a "rough" day and night two came up and we were off. The OPFOR was popping paraflumes all around us and we beat feet 180 degrees away from where we were heading. After about 2 hours he just drops to the ground and says "I need 5 mate". After about and hour I hop on the PRC-90 (yes we still used them) and call in the situation and start popping flares. Eventually I am added to another team and we carry on. So thats the lead up to my story. I should also add that each students gets a 5 gallong jerry can of water per day. I drank all my water every day and still wasnt able to pee for days. Anyway on night 5 my Aussie partner was reintroduced into the course, fresh ready to go after sitting in air con for 4 days drinking water. The OPFOR is light and we take off, about 2 hours into the evasion leg I black out. There is about 10 hours of my life evading through the desert outside El Centro that I DO NOT recall. About 0600 I "awake" and I am standing alone in the middle of a dry lake bed. There is an old dry lake bed South of Superstion Mountain and there I was right, smack dab in the middle of it. Not one single chamise, irion weed, cholla, or any oter vegatation anywhere around me. My Aussie partner is nowhere to be found, but suprisingly enough I am still "pretty much" on course. So I make it to the pick up point and lo and behold my partner is there sleeping. Yes I considered killing and burying his butt right there. I didnt and found some chamise to sleep under. After it was said and done the course coordinator was sitting at sight 3 on top of the mountain watching me and calling me on the hand held radio and wondering why I didnt answer. When I got home that day my roomamte thought I was drunk. Little did she know I was around 10 % deyhdrated and wasnt up for any of her crap. LOL I did catch hell for walking around in that lake bed with nary a blade a grass to hide behind. Needless to say, I never lived that down.

I'll add more details to the heat stroke/stress thread tomorrow.

[mav]

I would have to say my most embarrassing moment happened one day while I was at the gym. It was leg day and the gym was very crowded. I hate it when the gym is crowded, but the nice thing about the crowd that day was all of the gorgeous women around. Normally you don't see a lot of hot women in the gym at one particular time, but I guess that day was special. Anyway, I start out doing leg extensions to warm up for a day of heavy lifting. So far so good.

The next exercise was leg presses. I blow through my first three sets increasing the weight with each set with no problem. On my fourth set, I really load up the weight to where I would have to really push it to get out 8-10 reps. The first couple of reps weren't terrible but I had to keep pushing harder and harder with each rep. On the seventh rep I was about shot and as I was grunting and pushing with all my might to complete the rep something happened. As I was struggling with the weight I let out the loudest and longest fart that has ever come from my bowels. It was like someone shoved an air hose up my butt and inflated to 50 psi. After that seventh rep I locked up the weights. I looked around and noticed some people looking in my general direction and I heard a few snickers. I grabbed my towel, did not re-rack my weights (which I always do) and immediately proceeded out the gym with my head hanging in shame. I didn't return until three days later.

I have yet to this day been able to produce a fart of such ground shaking intensity. I have come to believe that this must have been a cosmic prank intended to embarrass the ever-lovin' sh*t out of me. On the positive side, I guess I can be thankful that there was nothing in my bowels cause that would have added a whole other layer of embarrassment which would have led me to never return.

[R1100R]

A eight months ago I was in a meeting with both our General's present to brief my program update due to my Colonel not being their. There was this

long winded Lieutenant Colonel briefing. He paused speaking for a moment. I looked up and about 30 people people were staring at me to include the two General's.

One the the Officers leaned over to me and whispered "Damn, Master Sergeant" in a low key.

It seemed I unconsciously stated out loud " That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard". You could of heard a pin drop in that room. Then the Major General stated "I'll second that". The room chuckeld and I stayed away from the LTC the rest of time he was at our HQ for a visit.

Everytime I see the General's to this day they crack on me about it.