If you hate your daughter's boy friend......

[Will Carry]

Tell her you really like him and you want to take him hunting and fishing. She will break up with him within a week. If you tell her you hate him watch out.

[gregintenn]

Words to live by. I'm glad I have boys.

[Guest Drewsett]

Words to live by. I'm glad I have boys.

With boys you have to worry about one penis.

With girls you have to worry about all of them.

Just my two cents.

[vontar]

Tell her you really like him and you want to take him hunting and fishing. She will break up with him within a week. If you tell her you hate him watch out.

That works, it works so well that after a girl broke it off with me, her Dad still liked me. However I wasn't going to get cozy with her family if I wasn't going to be dating her.

I quickly found out, if the parents liked me it was over.

However, strangely, with my wife, her parents did always like me, which confused the hell out of me.

[Guest Glock23ForMe]

I pray to the good Lord above that I never have a daughter, no offense to you ladies, but I will be the type of Dad that, on her first date, will be sittin on the front porch with no shirt, overalls and a shotgun saying, "I've got no problem going back to prison."

[Will Carry]

"I've got no problem going back to prison."

WHAAAHAHA. I have to remember that one!

[Il Duce]

I pray to the good Lord above that I never have a daughter, no offense to you ladies, but I will be the type of Dad that, on her first date, will be sittin on the front porch with no shirt, overalls and a shotgun saying, "I've got no problem going back to prison."

heck im no parent and i do that for the heck of it

[Murgatroy]

When my wife first heard the Rodney Atkins song Cleaning This Gun (Come on in Boy) she told me she thought of me and how I would deal with my daughter's suitors.

It won't be pretty. I just hope that I raise her right. And I pray to god she never brings a boy home that reminds me of me at that age.

As for my wife's family, her mother can't stand me, and the feeling is mutual (who does like their mother-in-law?) However; her father and I get along famously and have massive amounts in common, from work ethics to politics. I think I may even win him over on gun ownership. He isn't anti-gun, he just doesn't own any.

[mikegideon]

I pray to the good Lord above that I never have a daughter, no offense to you ladies, but I will be the type of Dad that, on her first date, will be sittin on the front porch with no shirt, overalls and a shotgun saying, "I've got no problem going back to prison."

[Garufa]

I pray to the good Lord above that I never have a daughter, no offense to you ladies, but I will be the type of Dad that, on her first date, will be sittin on the front porch with no shirt, overalls and a shotgun saying, "I've got no problem going back to prison."

Make sure you twitch a few times saying it.

[Farman]

She's my daughter... break her heart and I can make your death look like an accident!!!

[vontar]

combined some and added.

while cleaning a double barrel or pump shotgun, your choice.

in a slow southern draw'

"She's my daughter and she's all I got left,(twitch) I've got no problem going back to prison, ya here me boy? (spit tobacco) off the front porch."

[tnhawk]

I pray to the good Lord above that I never have a daughter, no offense to you ladies, but I will be the type of Dad that, on her first date, will be sittin on the front porch with no shirt, overalls and a shotgun saying, "I've got no problem going back to prison."

I'd add that most of the people you shot deserved it, but sometimes it was just because you didn't like their hair.

[Guest nozzle13]

I sit there in my titey whitey's, with a shotgun on one side and the Tub'o'Vaseline on the other, and tell him I've been to prison, and it only hurts till you get used to it. I then blow him a kiss, and tell him he's cuter than her last date.

[1gewehr]

When my sister was a teenager, she would introduce her dates to her three older brothers. The oldest was a preacher, I was a soldier, and the youngest brother was a lawyer. My dad used to tell them that he didn't have to do anything. Any problem could be handled by one of his sons!

[Punisher84]

This is what me and my best friend (basically my brother) decided we would do if one of us had a daughter... LOL WARNING LANGUAGE!

[Guest Glock23ForMe]

This is what me and my best friend (basically my brother) decided we would do if one of us had a daughter... LOL WARNING LANGUAGE!

I LOVE THAT SCENE!!

"If I'm there, you know what it's gonna be; Chitty Chitty BANG BANG, that's what it's gonna be"

[Guest razorblade]

My brother just always asked for a large cash deposit upon the boy's arrival before the boy could take his daughter on a date. The responding look was hilarious.

[Guest Tiny G]

I'm just going to tell them "Don't touch her any where you wouldn't want me touching you."

[jay1313g]

The first time I met my daughter's current boyfriend, my wife and I just returned from the range and I cleaned 3 guns in front of him. Six months later, he's still hanging around.

True story.

[jcj]

This is what me and my best friend (basically my brother) decided we would do if one of us had a daughter... LOL WARNING LANGUAGE!

Now that's some funny stuff right there..

[Sheepdog]

Daughters are God's way of punishing men for having been boys.

[Guest Glock23ForMe]

Nice.

[Guest malbolja]

When I was in college I was dating this cute little blonde. Her Dad didn't like me. So I go to my Dad (who is quite the ladies man) and explain the situation to him.

Me: "How can i get this guy to cut me a break?"

Dad: "Nothing. Don't even try."

This surprises me, since he ALWAYS has an answer for anything women related.

"Why do you say that?," I ask

"Because no matter what you do, you'll always be the guy who stuck your dirty dick in his little girl and made her like it."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, don't it?

[Punisher84]

When I was in college I was dating this cute little blonde. Her Dad didn't like me. So I go to my Dad (who is quite the ladies man) and explain the situation to him.

Me: "How can i get this guy to cut me a break?"

Dad: "Nothing. Don't even try."

This surprises me, since he ALWAYS has an answer for anything women related.

"Why do you say that?," I ask

"Because no matter what you do, you'll always be the guy who stuck your dirty dick in his little girl and made her like it."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, don't it?

LMAO I have a friend who has a teenage daughter and we were talking about this one day and he said "I'll wanna kill her husband if she ever gets pregnant." I asked why and he said "Because then I'll know he slept with her." I laughed, he didn't. I feel really sorry for that girl's significant others.