The Doctor Visit: Wrong 'Brush'.

[Guest Bronker]

I ate crow today. I retracted my 'blanket-theory'. I re-holstered a drawn 'conclusion.' I put away, metaphorically, the broad brush with which I often paint people in making assumptions about their convictions and beliefs.

Lesson learned today, and I feel great about it!

My son had an appointment today with a pediatric endocrinologist at Vanderbilt. A new physician, who specializes in research being done in adolescent growth disorders. My son is fine. Praise God, and amen.

I am sitting in this fellow's office, reading his diplomas. Reading his credentials. Reading his staff appointments and research credentials. Associate Professor of Medicine at Vanderbilt University School of Medicine. Lots and lots of letters and acronyms after his name. M.D., Ph.D., FAAPM, yada-yada...

I'm already drawing conclusions on the man. Eventually he strolls in, very pleasant, smiling, friendly. Good first impression. Late 40's. Married...to a woman. Cleanly dressed, wearing khaki chinos, a bow-tie, a you guessed it...Birkenstocks.

Immediately I'm thinking...Liberal, free-thinker, 'one-world-order' philosopher, yuppie-type college professor. No doubt drives a hybrid, and has a frequent flyer club membership at Starbucks. 'Enlightened' for sure.

It gets worse...

Most recently worked in research at UC San Francisco, with multiple university appointments. But wait. Prior to that, held appointments at UMass, having gone to medical school in Boston. Just moved to Nashville NINE DAYS ago! Even at this point, these are just observations. No final judgment yet. But at this point, I have already deducted several presumptive conclusions about this doctor: College professor. Researcher. Med school in Boston. Practiced in San Francisco. Working now at the liberal hotbed that is private education at Vanderbilt University.

He is enjoying the banter from my son, who is very funny, and never meets a stranger. They are going back and forth, talking, as he is examining him. He cocks his eyes to us and says with a grin..."I bet it's never quiet at your house." We chuckle in acknowledgment.

Then it happens.

For no real reason, my son blurts out..."I love NERF guns."

The doctor pauses and says..."What guns?"

Son: "Nerf guns"

Doc: "Guns? Really? What kind of guns?"

Son: "Oh yeah! I've got a .243, a turkey shotgun, three BB guns...my dad has got like 100 guns!"

The doctor pauses. I begin to swell up. I KNOW what's coming. I've read the reports of how pediatricians become involved in such matters. Invading privacy. Seeing guns in homes as a threat to the welfare of children and thus report cases. How DCS agents show up with warrants.

I'm preparing to go to battle. I'm thinking that I WILL fight this doctor! I'm preparing to say "What you fail to realize is that there is a little document known as the CONSTITUTION OF THE FREAKIN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA that gives me an inalienable right to own firearms and to raise my children as I see fit!"

As I wait for his next word, with me at near-boiling...he says:

"Really? Cool, buddy! I was born and raised in Missouri and me and my dad had lots of guns too! Just make sure you always stick to Super Soakers when your dad is not around. OK, buddy?" And he winks at me! And finished his exam.

We finished, and walked away thankful that our son was ok and that I had the unique privilege to run across such a man.

Lesson learned. I can't paint the profession nor the credentials with the broad 'brush' of skepticism, just because of his background, his affiliations or his credentials.

It was a good day.

[Sean S.]

Awesome story and glad your son is A-OK!

[Il Duce]

yup glad everything turned out fine. ive worn birkenstocks...them SOBS are comfy

[Guest Bronker]

yup glad everything turned out fine. ive worn birkenstocks...them SOBS are comfy

I have had two pairs! Roger that.

And thanks.

[56FordGuy]

Glad to hear everyone's alright.

Just for the record, the doctor still might drive a hybrid.

[Guest jackdm3]

I have had two pairs! Roger that.

And thanks.

Wait, wait, wait. You were gonna jump to conclusions on HIS Birks, but you haz'd 2 pair?!?! Birks, flippity flops, sandals, Crocs, etc. all the same to me. Usually accompanies a person with a happy view of life. Personally, I can't stand them out of the house. I like to keep my shoes on my feet in case of sudden shooting and scooting.

P.S. I love your son's personality!

[Rightwinger]

Love that kid. Oops on the nerf....ah, not really.

[Guest jackdm3]

Hey, y'all. Rightwinger's gotta a brand new badge!

[Guest Bronker]

Love that kid. Oops on the nerf....ah, not really.

Seems I recall YOU personally contributed to said NERF arsenal. If this had really gone south, I'd have blamed you personally!

[Guest db99wj]

Cool I have some birks myself. I haven't worn them in awhile. I do love my crocks!

[Guest jackdm3]

Somebody start that obvious shoewear poll.

[Links2k]

Good story. You shouldn't paint anyone or anything with a broad brush. You know what they say about assuming.

[Rightwinger]

Seems I recall YOU personally contributed to said NERF arsenal. If this had really gone south, I'd have blamed you personally!

I'm a baaaaaad boy. (head hung low, trembly lips)

nah

Now I'll have to up the ante somehow. What can I give Bronker's kid that he will talk about that might make him cringe? Can't be Birkenstocks, done got them...should have been enough....hmmmm

I know, a bullwhip and a blackjack. Your family has mules....just what he needs. He can talk about em at school and church and future doc visits. Yeee Haawwww

[kb4ns]

I do love my crocks!

Ahhh. Found this graph earlier and didn't understand until now...

[Rightwinger]

At least he's still ahead of Obama's productivity rating and the economy.

[vontar]

Besure to let us know when the DCS shows up. Just wondering how long it is currently taking the paper work from when the doctor leaves you to get everything processed to a warrant. Probably faster then my HCP, which today is day 21 if I have counted correctly. Dam I hope it is in the mail.

Cool, hopefully he will be a cool doctor for you guys.

*******

Edit, line one and 2, i have the word doctor twice, however when I edit, I can only find it once. I can't remove the second one.

Wow, I found a bug in the forum, if I add one more character to my first line the second doctor disappears. It is like a word wrap problem, it is coping doctor.

Edited August 11, 2010 by vontar

[Guest Bronker]

...Be sure to let us know when the DCS shows up...

I would have to strongly encourage anyone, govt. oversight agencies and otherwise, to deeply reconsider a plan involving coming to take my children.

It will be very bad. Perhaps for me as well, but very bad nonetheless for more than one of us.

[vontar]

I was trying to make a joke, I wasn't being serious:hiding:

[Guest Jcochran88]

I'm a baaaaaad boy. (head hung low, trembly lips)

nah

Now I'll have to up the ante somehow. What can I give Bronker's kid that he will talk about that might make him cringe? Can't be Birkenstocks, done got them...should have been enough....hmmmm

I know, a bullwhip and a blackjack. Your family has mules....just what he needs. He can talk about em at school and church and future doc visits. Yeee Haawwww

An Alabama T-shirt!!!

[G27]

An Alabama T-shirt!!!

Nah, you'd need to send him a shirt of a team that's a Vandy rival - someone they can compete with.

Send him a UT shirt.

[Guest db99wj]

Ahhh. Found this graph earlier and didn't understand until now...

:middlefinger:

You were up late looking for that one!

[kb4ns]

You were up late looking for that one!

Whatever it takes to get the job done...

[gnmwilliams]

I have had two pairs! Roger that.

And thanks.

I'd like to own some but I just can't seem to find Birk's in stock. (yeah yeah, couldn't resist)

Glad everything turned out ok!

[Daniel]

Cool I have some birks myself. I haven't worn them in awhile. I do love my crocks!

I Dont care How Comfortable Crocs Are, You Look Like A Dumbass. | Facebook

[daddyo]

I Dont care How Comfortable Crocs Are, You Look Like A Dumbass. | Facebook

I've seen some things that look even dumber.