Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road???

[waynesan]

This may be old but someone sent it to me today. I thought it was pretty good and thought ya'll might get a kick out of it.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ....... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:

I i nvented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY :

Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens

[Guest bkelm18]

Haha, very good.

[Guest DrBoomBoom]

Waynesan, those are great. Here are some more.

Barack Obama:

You chickens have hope. You chickens have a better day coming on the other side of the road.

Hillary Clinton:

We're going to outlaw chicken soup and give chickens free veterinary care.

John Edwards:

There are two roads, one for rich chickens, and one for poor chickens.

Dennis Kucinich:

To end the war.

Rudy Giuliani:

Remember 9-11.

Mitt Romney:

Hey you birds, don't mess up my hair.

John McCain:

Don't torture those poor chickens.

Mike Huckabee:

Chuck Norris and I will pray for these chickens.

Fred Thompson:

(Mr. Thompson was unavailable during nap time)

Ron Paul:

To get to the other side...duh!

Michael Moore:

Because it's all America's fault.

Britney Spears:

Who cares? Let's party! Anyone seen my kids?

Don Imus:

The little feather-headed ho's!

[strickj]

Fr

ed Thompson:

(Mr. Thompson was unavailable during nap time)

thats awsome!

did nybody read it aloud in there various voices?