The Stranded Irishman

[Guest oldfella]

One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."

As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.

Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?"

"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.

He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the castaway, "That is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink. " 'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. " 'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

With tears in his eyes the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there, too!

[hipower]

:-\:drool:

[Guest BEARMAN]

Heavens to Mergatroid!

[safeandsecure]

That wasn't the response I expected ...

[Oh Shoot]

Why an Irishman?

If anything, a Scot would fit better, Scotland being considered pretty much the birth of golf.

Though, it's just as funny (or not) with just "a guy".

(it's funnier to actual golfers).

- OS

[Guest 6.8 AR]

Totally unexpected and great!

[Raoul]

HA! Good one.

[ShamGlock]

Bushmills?!!!! That's Protestant Whiskey. Any good Irishman would demand Jameson, good old Catholic Whiskey.

[Guest tnrider]

+10 Jamison

[saintsfanbrian]

Since golf originated in Scotland around the 12th century it would have been much better being a Scotsman. And the drink of course would have to be (in my humble opinion) Aberlour.

[Guest BEARMAN]

Since golf originated in Scotland around the 12th century it would have been much better being a Scotsman. And the drink of course would have to be (in my humble opinion) Aberlour.

What if....your Scot/Irish...then what to drink?...I perfer, Old Charter.

But I digress...don't shoot golf, however, I have found some of their eggs near large fields....them are some tuff dat gum bird eggs!...heck I boiled em for nigh on 18 hours...still didn't soften em up enough to eat!

I think I'll stick with hen eggs in the future.

[Raoul]

What if....your Scot/Irish...then what to drink?...I perfer, Old Charter.

But I digress...don't shoot golf, however, I have found some of their eggs near large fields....them are some tuff dat gum bird eggs!...heck I boiled em for nigh on 18 hours...still didn't soften em up enough to eat!

I think I'll stick with hen eggs in the future.

They're fun to shoot. At.

[Guest Bluemax]

Arrgh!! .. A wee dram of a good single malt like Oban and if the lads get peckish afterwards we'll pipe in the Haggis !!

[Guest BEARMAN]

Arrgh!! .. A wee dram of a good single malt like Oban and if the lads get peckish afterwards we'll pipe in the Haggis !!

I could do the Oban, pretty good....but I don't know if I could go the Haggis, Blue.

[Guest Bluemax]

I could do the Oban, pretty good....but I don't know if I could go the Haggis, Blue.

All good jokes aside.. It would probably take the whole bottle of Oban ( or 2 ) before I would try the Haggis

[Oh Shoot]

Arrgh!! .. A wee dram of a good single malt like Oban ..

Ah, my "home town".

I've been there, met head of clan and etc.

And yep, that's some damn good drinkin.

- OS

[Motasyco]

I'll never dare tell a joke here with this kind of scrutiny.

[Chief07]

Good joke.

I'll drink to that!