Newly discovered element

[Guest GunTroll]

The Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has announced the discovery of a new element, the heaviest element known to science.

The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass....

[Rightwinger]

Does this mean that this element does not have a half life but is measured by it's NO LIFE ?

Over

[DavidD]

Hopefully someone will find that it contribute to global warming or something and start a movement to eradicate it.

[K191145]

Hopefully someone will find that it contribute to global warming or something and start a movement to eradicate it.

In large concentrated quanties it does emit heated air and noxious gas causing anyone exposed to it very long to suffer nausea and brain damage.

[StPatrick]

This is totally old news. Physicists have already found that the normal half-life decay of radioactive particles, while normally being so predictable it could be etched in stone, can be stopped with the addition of Botox in the case of Pelosium.

The benefit of their findings has been mixed, however. While Botulinum Toxin has been proven to prevent the apparent decay of Pelosium, studies are unclear as to whether the preservative effect actually enhances the longevity of the element. According to Edwin Sparks, a physicist with the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory "Our early experimental results indicate that the effects of Botox, while preserving a soulless husk of a human being, at least regarding the exterior, may actually increase the risk of the interior becoming a dried-out harridan incapable of human interaction or empathy. We're still in trials, but the results are promising."

Further tests are forthcoming, as the JPL has received a grant from the IPCC to study the interaction of Pelosium and Botox with regards to Global Warming.

[Guest BEARMAN]

Yes, and no, some studies indicate that the newer"modified"version, Pelosium Headupassium, will indeed, supersede the "standard grade" Pelosium, with or without the addition of Botox.

Isodopes and Morons will become "superheated" and will remain in-effectual, when exposed to the newer modified version of Pelosium Headupassium, and in essence, become Pelosidopes and Moronispores, according to an unnamed source at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory.

Edited February 19, 2010 by BEARMAN
spelling error

[southernasylum]

Most under rated thread ever!

[Chief07]

Great!

[Raoul]

And all this time I thought it was stupidium.

[Rightwinger]

Come on now, recall your basic physics classes. Stupidium is the by product of unobtainium on Pandora.

[Guest GunTroll]

Oh yeah. Forgot that one.

[Guest BEARMAN]

Come on now, recall your basic physics classes. Stupidium is the by product of unobtainium on Pandora.

Definition; Stupidium, pronounced...Stew-pid-dee-um, noun,describing persons, places or things. Currently engulfing the political administration in Warshington D.C., In particulate form, Brimstone elements of the Obama nation, including, but not limited to,the Knuckleheaded and pea brained Senators and spaghetti-spined Representatives seeking an unobtainium re-election bid in November.

[Guest Deputy dog]

:biglol:LOL