Sorry, Shamoo...(Not Safe for Adults)

[Guest Bronker]

My seven year-old son pays attention. Tactical Impact, American Rifleman, Best Defense....

In keeping with that theme, he creeps up to me while I'm in the recliner, and paints the grisly tale.

Shamoo has escaped. There is good reason to believe that he is armed and dangerous, and could very well be within the perimeter of our very house as we speak.

Apparently we have gotten unconfirmed recon from a special agent that we only know to go by "Momma," that the perp, the black-and-white sea-faring mammal, was indeed spotted in our area.

We will have to be very careful. The details of our mission were outlined by our team leader "Code Red" (because of the red sleeved t-shirt). Me "Code Blue" (guess?), and my daughter (Code Pink) were carefully recruited to carry out this mission because of our highly specified abilities to locate and recognize stuffed animal toys.

Code Red was armed with a NERF Maverick Rev-6 (a real sweet shooter), a Coleman LED flashlight, a NERF velcro / laser-tag tactical vest, an old BlueTooth, Old Navy sweat shorts, Nike backpack, and white Hanes socks. The only true identifying marks was the "Sheriff" hat. I'm not at liberty to discuss my arsenal:cool:

After clearing the downstairs, and scaring the crap out of the cat, we headed upstairs. Not far into the master bedroom, we spotted the perp lying in the tub, peeking over. We're thinking agent "Momma" was responsible for setting up the takedown.

We engaged the target, but the punk fish...mammal...whatever...failed to comply. Tensions mounted, emotions and adrenaline ran extreme!!! Code Pink (my three year-old) apparently recognized the potential threat because she ran from the room attempting to locate that agent "Momma" (you can't hardly find any more true warriors amongst pre-school girls).

Seeing that verbal tactics would not talk the perp out of the wash basin, Code Red gave the order to move in. In a hail of foam bullets, and inaudible screaming, we managed to take down the target without further incident. Code Blue (in his underwear) took the perimeter as Code Red took the target into custody.

The streets are a little safer tonight because brave second-graders are willing to do make-believe evil to stuffed sea mammals on your behalf.

Rest easy, boys. You can't handle the fiction.

[dats82]

That is a blackmail photo for sure later in life.

Sounds like fun times!

[Guest SUNTZU]

God bless America and those who serve.

[56FordGuy]

Good stuff.

[Rightwinger]

Why can't we all just eat tuna and get along?

Let the Sheriff stay up late as he has no school tomorrow!

[Guest Bronker]

Why can't we all just eat tuna and get along?

Let the Sheriff stay up late as he has no school tomorrow!

I will tell him, when he finishes his Reeses Puffs.

[buck1032]

Are the Agents available? There is a 6" T-Rex that runs amok inside our perimeter. My 3 y/o just says, "He's on a picnic" and nothing else as to the where abouts of said critter. The suspect was once on a "picnic" for several months before he was located. LOL

[Guest Bronker]

Are the Agents available? There is a 6" T-Rex that runs amok inside our perimeter. My 3 y/o just says, "He's on a picnic" and nothing else as to the where abouts of said critter. The suspect was once on a "picnic" for several months before he was located. LOL

That's a whole other unit, man.

I'll call my niece...

Don't let the Strawberry Shortcake PJ's fool you...

[Guest boatme99]

It's a good thing you don't live in Oregon. You'd all be suspended. Oh, and it would go on your PERMANENT RECORD too!

Good hunt, by the way. Next year - baby seals at my ice flo! Contact me mid May. I'm currently out of touch while on a manatee expedition.

[Guest Jamie]

How does one go about handcuffing a whale? And did anybody read him (her?) it's Miranda rights?

J. ( Who's never had to say "Alright, come out with your flippers where I can see 'em." )

[robin48]

I feel like perp should be tried by a second grade tribunal and not in a civilian court. Terrorist orcas don't deserve the same rights as catfish and bass.

[Guest m&pc9]

Sham-moo needs a lawyer, I think it was police brutality.

Good story.

[FUJIMO]

Boy, P.E.T.A. is going to have a field day with this one, LOL

[Oh Shoot]

The elusive orca was probably hiding from you spelling felons ("Shamu").

- OS

[Guest Bronker]

The elusive orca was probably hiding from you spelling felons ("Shamu").

- OS

Grammar Police out in full force...

Secondly, I'm quoting from the translation of a then 4 year-old, who wrote a story regarding his summer vacation. In that story was mentioned that he spent three days at "Sea Word," and his favorite attraction was the whale named "Shamoo." Phonically correct, still.

Go pi$$ on some other parade, Chief.

Edited February 11, 2010 by Bronker

[Oh Shoot]

Grammar Police out in full force...

Secondly, I'm quoting from the translation of a then 4 year-old, who wrote a story regarding his summer vacation. In that story was mentioned that he spent three days at "Sea Word," and his favorite attraction was the whale named "Shamoo." Phonically correct, still.

Go pi$$ on some other parade, Chief.

Yow!

Is it bedtime?

- OS

[Guest Baddawg865]

Man that was a great story! I now know how to keep my sons busy for a while. You gave me some great ideas.

(And you will always have someone out there try to ruin your post, just over look them and move along. I guess they have nothing better to do.)

[Oh Shoot]

Man that was a great story! I now know how to keep my sons busy for a while. You gave me some great ideas.

(And you will always have someone out there try to ruin your post, just over look them and move along. I guess they have nothing better to do.)

Yow!²

There must be a humor impairment contagion going around.

I thought "spelling felon" would make the jocularity clear, didn't think a smiley was necessary.

I know Bronker some, and there's generally a repartee tendency between us; sorry, Bronk if you thought it was nasty, since you seemed to snap at me for real.

But I don't know you at all, Baddawg865.

Fortunately.

- OS

[Guest Bronker]

Yow!²

There must be a humor impairment contagion going around.

I thought "spelling felon" would make the jocularity clear, didn't think a smiley was necessary.

I know Bronker some, and there's generally a repartee tendency between us; sorry, Bronk if you thought it was nasty, since you seemed to snap at me for real.

But I don't know you at all, Baddawg865.

Fortunately.

- OS

No offense taken, Chief. After I saw this post, I went back to mine to make sure I hadn't inadvertently volleyed an angry tone at you in my response. I can see how you might have gotten that sense.

Nah, my response was tongue in cheek as well. Hard to convey that in an internet conversation.

...and I know how to spell 'Shamu'...for the record:D

Baddawg, me and Chief (OhShoot) do know each other and take pleasure in going all-out "Tonya Harding" on the other's unsuspecting knees when we get a chance if we think we can get a chuckle out of it!

[Guest Sgt. Joe]

Not meant to crap your thread Bronker but it seems appropriate....

They grow OH so FAST....

Just yest. my 14 1/2 yr old, not scrawny like his dad, he is 5'11" and 210 all muscle already.

So he does the kid thing and goes into my closet and puts on my old Army uniform, boots bloused, proper T-shirt and all and then walks into the living room.

When I saw him I nearly had a stroke and had to turn my head to hide my immediately tearing eyes. The uniform not only fit well he will need a larger one by the time he goes and I dont think there will be any stopping him.

It took quite a few moments for me to compose myself and when I did all I could do was turn back to him and utter a stern while sqeaky "You wont get in, until you get your grades up" still choking it back.

Man they sure grow fast!.....Enjoy Every Moment, it seems that you are and your story is priceless.

[Guest Bronker]

Not crapping my thread, Sgt.

+1 for being a good dad, and building a real man. Thanks for sharing that. We need more like you and him.

[Chief07]

Gotta love those kids!

[Guest Bronker]

Update...

My 7 year-old shot my CZ Sp-01 Phantom today, quite accurately! Of course, I had my hand on the grip, and wrapped around his.

Why would I be so "irresponsible"? Because he asked to shoot it.

Now he's convinced that he wants to learn to speak Czechoslovakian and perhaps our next mission will be to take down a Beluga whale?

Why am I watching Rocky IV again?

He's running around the house yelling "Draga, Draga, Draga!"

[Rightwinger]

"I must beat you"

[Guest Bronker]

"I must break you"

"Himme hada! Dat all you got?! Himme hada!!"

Gosh, my own thread is a self-imposed sewage treatment plant, there's so much crapping.