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Drafting guys over 60!


Guest 6.8 AR

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Posted

Drafting Guys Over 60

This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists.

You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing

ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take

us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least

35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old

guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000

additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a

dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are

impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it

will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up

early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep

and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical

son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.

In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and

yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for

guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away

from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and

never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever

do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen

anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave,

to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a

baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more

about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing

an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with

attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already

behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have

attitudes??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have

it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.

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Posted

"Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling."

:D

Guest Muttling
Posted

First we would need to procure some O.D. green Depends.

Guest mustangdave
Posted
First we would need to procure some O.D. green Depends.

but once we get use to the chow...we can switch back to regular BVD's...your choice..."grippies" or "boxer"

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