PETA Messed With The Wrong People

[Guest SUNTZU]

http://glossynews.com/society/201001070305/activists-missing-after-declaring-war-on-leather-at-motorcycle-rally/

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,†according to police officials.

“Something just went wrong,†said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.â€

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,†decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.†“In fact,†said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.â€

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers†to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!†charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!â€

“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.â€

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.â€

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise†at the allegations.

“That’s preposterous,†said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.â€

When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,†assured the organizer.

[Garufa]

[TripleDigitRide]

That was great!

[Guest Arko]

What, exactly COULD have happened any differently? These protesters forgot rule #1: Know Thy enemy. For that stupidity alone they earned it.

..If it's real.

Edited January 8, 2010 by Arko

[BrasilNuts]

Just reading the title of this thread put a smile on my face!

“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

Yeah, your parents didn't spank you enough when you were a child.

[Steelharp]

Sounds like the phony satire news of "The Onion." lol...

[Guest TnDeerHunter]

Only thing better than reading this would be seeing it. Really what did they expect

+1 for the bikers

[Guest SUNTZU]

Even if its fake its funny. Smile, laugh, have fun. You die at the end, remember?

[kckndrgn]

I loved it, real or not. Actually, I hope it was real.

:bowrofl:

[TripleDigitRide]

Sounds like the phony satire news of "The Onion." lol...

Yea, Glossy News is very similar to the Onion.

[LagerHead]

Kinda makes me want to go get a leather jacket.

[Krull]

I must admit there is a tear in my from laughing so hard.

[Tnscooter63]

ROLMAO

[molonlabetn]

I Love It... this was priceless.

[Guest db99wj]

That is funny! wish it was true!

[lowbud]

LMAO... good stuff!

[leroy]

HEHEHEHE!!!

LEROY

[Guest 6.8 AR]

Awesome:rofl:

[Volzfan]

I hope it is true! True or not, it's still funny! What were they expecting to happen? They are lucky to have lived to tell about it.

[Armed Aviator]

[Guest BEARMAN]

Do ya really think the little fellers had the testicular fortitude to actually protest a biker rally? Most likely not....but, then again, after further pondering the situation...with there "protein deprived pea brains" it might have happened!!!

Peed on PETA.......yep, sounds just like.......BEEF, its whats for dinner!!!

Little fellers...little fellers

[E4 No More]

That was a hoot!!!!

[Guest Arko]

Yeah...I believe they ARE dumb enough to try it. Back when I was doing protective work, one client was a furrier out of PA.

One came running at the protectee despite my 6'3, 280lb frame being between them. He went to the ground after a bump. Got back up, tried to push me, and knocked HIMSELF down. (little willowy fella).

Only gave up when traffic was pointing and laughing.

Then there was another time they hired bikini girls to protest in front of his shop..in OCTOBER..and the protest ended when the protectee came out with full length coats and hot chocolate for them!

Edited January 8, 2010 by Arko
added a foot

[E4 No More]

Yeah...I believe they ARE dumb enough to try it. Back when I was doing protective work, one client was a furrier out of PA.

One came running at the protectee despite my 5'3, 280lb frame being between them. He went to the ground after a bump. Got back up, tried to push me, and knocked HIMSELF down. (little willowy fella).

Only gave up when traffic was pointing and laughing.

Then there was another time they hired bikini girls to protest in front of his shop..in OCTOBER..and the protest ended when the protectee came out with full length coats and hot chocolate for them!

5'3" 280?

[Guest Arko]

5'3" 280?

LOL!

Ooops.

6'3, 280 (at the time)