Don’t Bring a Knife to a Coffee Fight

[waynesan]

Don’t bring a knife to a coffee fight Gun Nuts Media

The short version of the story is that on Saturday leaving my office, I was the subject of an attempted mugging by a member of the Indianapolis Choir Boy School of Good Men Who are Only Down on Their Luck. As I was leaving my office, said altar boy came around the corner of my building to the left into the side parking lot, and as I turned to face him noticed the knife in his right hand. The Chaplain’s Assistant demanded that we engage in an abbreviated barter process, wherein I would provide my wallet and car keys in exchange for not getting shanktified, which to him probably seemed like a reasonable exchange.

I politely demurred by hurling a cup of hot Starbucks at him while fishing my Beretta Jetfire out of the stupid pocket holster it was riding in. After taking a face full of Columbia’s most popular legal export and confronted with a counter offer of bullets to his previous barter exchange concept, the young gentlemen decided that discretion was the better part of valor and made all due haste in a westerly direction. For my part, I locked myself in my office, called 911 and waited for the cops to arrive to take my report.

[Guest H0TSH0T]

a++ fantastic

[Guest hi im drummer03]

+1. Good job bud. Glad your fine too.

[strickj]

Pffft...everyone knows that its way more financially sound to give your wallet away then to waste a perfectly good Starbucks coffee!

[Guest truthsayer]

I know Caleb.... good dude and a fantastic ending to a sh!††y situation.

[LagerHead]

Pffft...everyone knows that its way more financially sound to give your wallet away then to waste a perfectly good Starbucks coffee!

The modifier "perfectly good" and "Starbucks coffee" don't belong in the same sentence together. But good story nonetheless.

[Guest CaneyFork]

Tquess you can say starbucks is '' good to the last drop too''

[Guest yzfMrLee]

Ha! that's great! How can anyone argue that we shouldn't be able to carry with people trying crap like this all the time? (preaching to the choir, I know lol)