Guy Rules

[Guest dlstewart01]

The Guys' Rules*******************

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules"

From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work !

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to

almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help

solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in

an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret

girls DON'T expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways

and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant

the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it

yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to

say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and

neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows

default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin

is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We

will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but It i s just not worth the

hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,

Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything

you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you

are prepared to discuss such topics as shooting, Smith & Wessons,

baseball, football, golf or cleavage.

1 . You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's

like camping.

[Guest jackdm3]

God, I love my wife! I feel for you guys.

[dats82]

That is awesome

[Guest 70below]

If any of you guys on here are the kind to break the rules about the one urinal gap in a public restroom, then insists on talking while you're takin a piss, or the guy that sits in the stall directly next to the one that is already occupied while there are other empty stalls........QUIT IT.

[raydog1]

"Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's

like camping. "

Quoted for truth. There's a reason why I paid more for my couch than I did for my bed.

[Guest nj.piney]

If any of you guys on here are the kind to break the rules about the one urinal gap in a public restroom, then insists on talking while you're takin a piss, or the guy that sits in the stall directly next to the one that is already occupied while there are other empty stalls........QUIT IT.

and stop tapping your foot .

[Guest PapaB]

God, I love my wife! I feel for you guys.

I love my wife too, but I have sisters. Evidently you weren't similarly burdened.

[Garufa]

If any of you guys on here are the kind to break the rules about the one urinal gap in a public restroom, then insists on talking while you're takin a piss, or the guy that sits in the stall directly next to the one that is already occupied while there are other empty stalls........QUIT IT.

Amen, brother.

and stop tapping your foot .

or grunting.

[garethsk]

I'd show this to my wife...but she's still pissed about being in the trunk...

[Guest TnDeerHunter]

I don't know why my wife keeps laughing while she's throwing my pillow on the coach

[Wingshooter]

I don't know why my wife keeps laughing while she's throwing my pillow on the coach

At least you got a pillow...

[Garufa]

I don't know why my wife keeps laughing while she's throwing my pillow on the coach

My coach is an '02 4Runner. You sleeping in the car tonight?

[SHbicycle]

"mauve"

So that is how it's spelled.

[Guest 70below]

"mauve"

So that is how it's spelled.

Its the weirdest thing.......besides a couple hundred variations of camouflage that I can think of off the top of my head........apparently there are more than about 8 colors. Who knew??

[Metalhead]

I'd show this to my wife...but she's still pissed about being in the trunk...

[Guest SUNTZU]

I don't know why my wife keeps laughing while she's throwing my pillow on the coach

If there's a coach in your house and your wife is covering him up with a pillow you've got bigger problems. Maybe that's why she's laughing.

[Guest mustangdave]

"mauve"

So that is how it's spelled.

Is that the Pinkish Purple...MAUVE... why not PUNK or PINKLE

[Guest Sgt. Joe]

I like my couch.....it is closer to the bigger TV...

[Kegger]

My girlfriend read this last night....

First words out of her mouth, "So that's whats wrong with you."

[Chief07]

You are right! Let them put the seat down.

With a wife and 2 girls, I'm out numbered.

;-)

[bubbiesdad]

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We

will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but It i s just not worth the

hassle.

Also, don't be mad or surprised when it happens again.

[Guest H0TSH0T]

and if you leave the seat down, don't complain about it getting wet, most of us guys aim by sound.

[analog_kidd]

My policy is to put the seat and lid down. If I gotta put the seat down, she's gonna lift up the lid.

[Guest H0TSH0T]

lol i have left that wet before also that's what the mat around the toilet is for, wipe-e-wipe-e