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Somebody pooed on me at the gunshow


Guest Bluemax

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Posted

I remember one day in High school... um... there was "a guy" who sat in the back of the room that let a silent but VERY deadly one go. It slowly creeped along the floor until it had the entire room entrenched. Then as if on cue, it began to rise and fog the entire class all at once. Being that my buddy.... I mean the guys friend, was sitting near the center of the room "the guy" pointed to his friend, as people were looking around for a source, and laughed. This guys friend turned all shades of red as he decried any involvment in the horrible stinch that had been loosed. What was funny, the more his freind denied it the more people goaded him about it!:poop: One of the poudest days in this "guys" high school prank life!

Guest Bluemax
Posted
Maybe it will have disapated by tomorrow :)

Sure enough, returned to the show today and nary a pungent whiff; however the warden did laundry while I was gone and swore she smelled curry...I told you it was an Osama Fart !!:D

Guest Risky Ruger
Posted

He who spelt it, delt it.

Posted

As a legendary Fart Master I can say "No I was not there,but I am proud there are others to carry on the tradition".I salute whomever it was.:D:poop::)

Guest walkingdeadman
Posted
;) Its awesome how we all hate the smell of other peoples flatulence,but love our own so much we'll show it off to our buddies

True

Guest mustangdave
Posted

I started reading this thread yesterday...and was laughing until I teared up...then I realized my bulldog was in the office with me and farted...I didn't have time to don and clear my gas mask...you want stanky farts...dog farts is it. They look all innocent at you as that green mist from The TEN Commandments seeps out. What did the bible call that stuff?...The Angel of DEATH....I'm still chuckling after reading all these flatulent tales.

Guest walkingdeadman
Posted
I started reading this thread yesterday...and was laughing until I teared up...then I realized my bulldog was in the office with me and farted...I didn't have time to don and clear my gas mask...you want stanky farts...dog farts is it. They look all innocent at you as that green mist from The TEN Commandments seeps out. What did the bible call that stuff?...The Angel of DEATH....I'm still chuckling after reading all these flatulent tales.

holy crap you are so right. my lil 30 pound dog can clear the room. between him and me, we can run my wife clear outta the house, which in most cases is a good thing.

  • Moderators
Posted

I work in retail and one of my favorite pastimes to relieve the monotony is crop dusting at work. I will drop a bomb in an aisle and then go do something on the opposite end of the aisle where I can see when someone walks into the cloud I left. often times they will swat at it like they just walked into a swarm of bees.

Guest JHatmaker
Posted

Man, that happened to me at a Nashville Gun show once. It was horrible, one of the worst poots I've ever smelt. People kept making faces and looking at each other, like, wasn't me...

Guest mustangdave
Posted
holy crap you are so right. my lil 30 pound dog can clear the room. between him and me, we can run my wife clear outta the house, which in most cases is a good thing.

We have 3 dogs AND me in the house...my own bio warfare platoon....:D:stare:

Posted

Boxer farts....I think they're the actual creator of pepper spray. They're so bad he'll jump up, spin around and try to see WTF made that awful smell. It'll wake you up from a dead sleep

Guest AmericanWorkMule
Posted

I hate the people that never bath yet attend crowded places. There were two big guys at a Smyrna gun show one time.... oh damn nasty

Guest jos2f
Posted

+1 on the dog dustings.

When watching TV, my wife usually sits between me and the dog. Whenever something smells she instinctively asks if it was me or the dog.

Being the honest (and somewhat newly married) man that I am, I always tell her it was the dog :D

Guest mustangdave
Posted
I hate the people that never bath yet attend crowded places. There were two big guys at a Smyrna gun show one time.... oh damn nasty

I think I was at the same show...I remember that cause my wife said something...and that's rare.

Guest mustangdave
Posted
+1 on the dog dustings.

When watching TV, my wife usually sits between me and the dog. Whenever something smells she instinctively asks if it was me or the dog.

Being the honest (and somewhat newly married) man that I am, I always tell her it was the dog :)

But do you fart in bed and hold her under the sheets? THAT!!! my friend takes COURAGE

Guest Bluemax
Posted

If I dropped a bomb like the one at the gunshow and tried to hold the warden under the sheets, the end result would be a crash cart and a trip to the ER, not for her but for me. I never thought a thred about a fart would last so long but then again this was the fart that all other farts will be judged on from that moment on. I only hope the other bystanders sense of smell were't pemenantly affected

I agree that dog farts are bad but except for the time my buddy and I gave his hound the leftovers from a very spicy crawfish boil, they don't compare. But if you want to see a dog do hotlaps around the house while scooting on his butt thats the way to go. Kinda cruel though, he never did grow all the hair back he wore off scooting around like that

Posted
Boxer farts....I think they're the actual creator of pepper spray. They're so bad he'll jump up, spin around and try to see WTF made that awful smell. It'll wake you up from a dead sleep

Doberman farts are worse.

Guest mustangdave
Posted

Yer both wrong...LOL...English Bulldog farts are serious rot gut POOTS...and the friggin SNORE too

Posted

Boxer farts....I think they're the actual creator of pepper spray. They're so bad he'll jump up, spin around and try to see WTF made that awful smell. It'll wake you up from a dead sleep

I have a boxer AND a boston terrier. Nuff said.

my father in law always liked doing a sweep and clear around the perfume counter at big srores.

Posted
But do you fart in bed and hold her under the sheets? THAT!!! my friend takes COURAGE
Ahh, the old covered wagon. I HAVE done that before. By the way ladies, I'm single.:dirty:
Guest TnDeerHunter
Posted

Never thought I'd be reading a tread about farts. This really stinks

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