How do you prepare...

[clarky07]

How you prepare mentally to take another life if you are faced with that situation? Is there anything you can do to lessen the potential bad side effects afterwards? (not sure how to word that ... something to do before you face the situation that will help your mental state after the encounter)

Also, this is given as an argument by a friend as a reason not to carry / have a gun in the house because of the after effects. I say that any effects have to be better than being dead, and the response is usually "yeah i guess, but i don't know if i could handle it" or some such. Any ideas on this situation would be appreciated as well. Maybe the answer to the first question answers this too.

[Guest TEBISH]

If you care to read into it - the book "On Killing" is a great resource. The book is however based on a wartime perspective and doesn't cover civilian or police encounters. It covers historical and current accounts to what leads/allows soldiers on the battlefield to kill and how they deal with it afterwards. There are some surprising statistics in it. I will try to pull the book off the shelf at home this weekend and write some of them in here.

Amazon.com: On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society: Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: Books

[brooksjr]

I don't think that there is anyway to prepare for something like this because you don't know how it will affect you until after the fact. I personaly feel that if I took someones life that was harming or threatening to harm my family I would be fine with it. Just imagine what you would feel if someone assaulted, raped, or killed a family member and you didn't try to stop them. That would haved to be much worse than the alternative.

One thing that I have thought about is if someone breaks into my home and I kill that person could I continue to live in the house. I think I would relive that moment day in and day out. Probably be hard to sale a house that someone was killed in but I believe that would be my only option.

[Oh Shoot]

14 months ago, feller on motorcycle rounded curve on wrong side and hit me head on, killed instantly. Certainly not trying to be cavalier or flippant about the experience, but I have been surprised at just how little this has affected me.

I can only presume that fact is because I had no real culpable responsibility in the matter, no "choice", if you will.

I can only hope that if the second worst thing ever happens in a self-defense situation, I'll feel the same way. If the first worst thing happens, I of course won't be feeling anything at all.

- OS

[Guest putmanphoto]

I agree - there is no training or anyway to prepare for such a situation... but I believe that if I have to pull my gun to defend myself or my daughter, and that person is killed. I am sure that I would lose sleep for a while, but if something happened to me, my daughter would have lost her mother, and if I allowed something to happen to her - That would HURT me more than him losing his life

[TGO David]

I'm trying to say this in the least callous way possible ... but if the time comes for you to use deadly force to defend yourself, obviously the person(s) that you will have to shoot put themselves in this predicament by trying to prey upon you or your family. Civilized people don't prey upon other people. A person who becomes predatory willfully puts aside the nice veneer of civil society and forces the rest of us to make the ultimate decision: will it be them or me?

When that happens, I don't think too many tears should be shed for the predator.

I feel sorry for victims. I feel sorry for those preyed upon by predators. I don't feel sorry for the guy who thought it was a good idea to rape a woman only to find out that the woman had a gun and was willing to fight to the death to defend herself.

Just my take on it.

[Guest canynracer]

+1

[Guest nraforlife]

Go hang out in a trauma center one Saturday night

[Guest Scottech]

+1 to TGO David.

Additionally: Understand your rights under the law and know your weapons and know that the use of a firearm is always a last resort.

[Fallguy]

Sort of like others have said...the only thing I've done to "prepare" for such a situation is resolved myself to the idea that if it is "him or me" I'm going to do everything I can to make sure it's not me.

...and to actually give a little credit to the OP's friend. If you truly feel that you could not take a life, no matter what, then it is probably best not to have a firearm around.

[Raoul]

How you prepare mentally to take another life if you are faced with that situation? Is there anything you can do to lessen the potential bad side effects afterwards?

You don't and you can't.

[Guest Astra900]

If your inhibitions are religious based, there is a good book you can read on that, and don't laugh at the title, It's called "Guns and Moses"

As far as I am concerned, when someone makes the decision to take from me or my loved ones, our freedom and health, they, in that instant, forfeit their right to live.

[S&WForty]

I'm trying to say this in the least callous way possible ... but if the time comes for you to use deadly force to defend yourself, obviously the person(s) that you will have to shoot put themselves in this predicament by trying to prey upon you or your family.

As far as I am concerned, when someone makes the decision to take from me or my loved ones, our freedom and health, they, in that instant, forfeit their right to live.

Both of you are right up on my thoughts... Choices.

Sometimes I am told "life is all about choices." People like us choose to learn how to protect ourselves and our loved ones. More importantly, criminals make choices, too. The criminal makes a choice to rob/harm/kill, and at the same time, they make our choice on how to protect ourselves.

I honestly feel that if it comes down to "it was either him or me (or loved one)," I will get over it sooner than later. As long as I can minimize all "what-ifs" with "it was gonna be him or me" I'll be okay.

[Guest Astra900]

If someone tries to hurt my wife, I won't hesitate. If I lose any sleep over it, So what?

[Guest bkelm18]

I would like to be all bravado and say I wouldn't bat an eye if I ever had to shoot someone. But honestly, I think it would bother me. Probably a good bit. Sure the person obviously deserved it and I would be acting on behalf of my safety, but you're killing someone in a pretty personal manner. Does that dissuade me from carrying? Not at all. I accept it as something that just goes with carrying a weapon. When you strap on your sidearm, you are mentally saying to yourself "I may have to kill someone with this, and I accept that." In the end, I don't think anyone can know how they will feel until they are at that point. I surely don't.

[clarky07]

Thanks for all the great responses. I feel very much the same way. I would much rather it be them than myself or my family.

I think for me it depends on the situation on how I would feel though. Even though that person made a bad choice, there are some scenarios where I would feel bad.

Take for instance 2 situations.

BG 1. Va Tech or Binghamton type situation. Active shooter who is trying for a body count. If I am able to take him out and save many lives, I don't think I would lose any sleep at all.

BG 2. 18 year old kid who's friends thought it would be a good idea to rob me at my home. Yes he did an incredibly stupid thing by bringing a weapon into my home and threatening my family and I, but he's just a kid and maybe it wasn't even his idea. If he's there and is a threat I don't think I'd have a problem pulling the trigger, but I think I would at least feel bad for him and his family.

[TripleDigitRide]

I have no idea how I'd be effected after the fact, but I can promise you one thing, pulling the trigger on someone who deserves it will be no problem.

Inflicting severe pain and discomfort on someone has never bothered me in the slightlest. Now that I think about it, I've never lost any sleep over it. Then again, the end result was never death.

I guess we'll find out if/when it happens.

[Guest voigts]

I would like to be all bravado and say I wouldn't bat an eye if I ever had to shoot someone. But honestly, I think it would bother me. Probably a good bit. Sure the person obviously deserved it and I would be acting on behalf of my safety, but you're killing someone in a pretty personal manner. Does that dissuade me from carrying? Not at all. I accept it as something that just goes with carrying a weapon. When you strap on your sidearm, you are mentally saying to yourself "I may have to kill someone with this, and I accept that." In the end, I don't think anyone can know how they will feel until they are at that point. I surely don't.

Very well stated. Too many people have a cavalier attitude about carrying a firearm. A weapon is for one thing- to kill if necessary. It is to prevent the worse of two evils, namely the bg vs you and/or the ones you love. If a person really can't handle the idea of killing someone if necessary, then he shouldn't carry a firearm. Would I be shook up if I had to shoot someone? I am sure that I would. But would I regret it in the end? I don't think I would. Someone who is willing to threaten another life made their choice already. We also have to realize that if the bg is willing to harm me/love ones, he is willing to do it to whoever else he can to try to get what he wants.

[Guest m&pc9]

I think I would feel more anger than remorse. Because the bg put me into the situation.

[TN9mm]

Sure hope none of us ever have to find out. However, because you are here, I assume most of us are prepared to do what we have to if we have to. I feel sorry for the OP's friend being a defenseless victim bc you are concerned on how you would feel if you had to defend yourself is beyond myopic. I would be far more crushed if something happened to my family and I was unable to act, than if I was able to defend them or myself for them. I believe there is precious little we can do to help with the after effects other than resolve not to be victims.

[Guest Arko]

I take solace in the belief that anyone at the wrong end of my gun has made decisions that have put them on that path, and on some level accepted the risk of death that their actions could incur.

Nice CZ82 by the way!