Military rules for gunfights...

[BimmerFreak]

Heavy Marine Corps slant, but still funny...

USMC Rules for Gun Fighting

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

3. Have a plan.

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)

9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating or reloading.

14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

15. And above all ... don't drop your guard.

Navy SEALS Rules For Gun Fighting

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.

2. Kill every living thing within view.

3. Return quickly to looking cool in latest beach wear.

4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules For Gun Fighting

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75-pound rucksack while starving.

2. Locate individuals requiring killing.

3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.

4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75-pound rucksack while starving.

Army Rules For Gun Fighting

1. Select a new beret to wear

2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder

3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear

US Air Force Rules For Gun Fighting

1. Have a cocktail

2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner

3. See what's on HBO

4. Determine "what a gunfight is"

5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.

6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives

7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets

8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally

9. Tell the Navy to send the Marines

Navy Rules For Gun Fighting

1. Go to Sea

2. Drink Coffee

3. Watch porn

4. Send the Marines

[Rightwinger]

Every Ranger should have mailed the DOD a pink beret when they made the change to let everybody wear the damn things.

I went through just a wee little piece of hell to earn my wings and then get on jump status in 18th Airborne Corps back in the 80s to wear my maroon one. Rangers and SF went through a ton more to get their fuzzy caps. It was a sign that we all gave a little more than the general issue bullet catchers. Your rule above on deciding which color beret to wear hits me in the gut.

It was just a piece of wool but it made me feel good to shave one down and mold it to my noggin and then walk among the "legs" with a smile. Esprit can't be bought but it could be earned back then....never more. Give everyone medals, they expect it now since everyone of them probably got trophys for "participating" in sports. We wouldn't want to hurt their feelings having someone in an elite unit now would we.

Bah

[towerclimber37]

I know what you mean...I didn't care to wear a french "girlie cap"...

I much preferred this sort of hat.

yah...believe it or not this WAS me and my buddy...shammin in the rear for a week!

[Guest c.a.s.]

Bah. Berets are even getting wierder (watch the Army Commercial It goes all the way down the side of his face), along with everything else that has been said. Boonie's and patrol caps are much better. Hey Tower, is that Desert Storm or another desert war?

I know what you're talknig about, Rightwinger. I suck at pretty much everytihng in school, and yet I go home every year with a couple certificates or awards. For doing nothing. I was a member of no clubs, I joined no teams, And I was an average student at best. I;m surprised they don;t have a "worst *blank*" award. Oh wiat, they do. They just call it something else.

[Rightwinger]

Actually, a properly worn American beret does go down the right side of your head, the ear should be fully covered. The guys that wore them like Scots were laughed at.

It actually took some work to get a good beret broken in. You have to shave em and then wet em and wear em....ah memories.

Towerclimber, whose the white guy in the photo?

We wore boonies in Honduras and they were comfortable, just ugly!

[towerclimber37]

Yes, Cody, that was one of those "desert wars"...

[Guest c.a.s.]

Know anyone by the last name "Bunch"?

[BimmerFreak]

Dont get me started on the whole "everyone is special" movement

Here are a few things that have happened in the past few years, and a few things to come in the coming 12-18 months that should make everyone feel REAL special.

Rangers lose black beret, and are forced to switch to a tan one.

This is done because Gen Eric Shinseki thought that the way to make everyone an elite warrior was to issue them a stupid beret.

We all know this has been a great success

Combat Action Badge

Non-Infantry and Non-Special Forces soldiers (The only two jobs that can earn the CIB) cried and complained that they didnt get to wear the Combat INFANTRY Badge when they deployed and were in danger.

The solution? Lets make a badge for every swinging dick to wear if they are even in the same 4 digit grid as someone that was mad or thinking ill thoughts towards them.

Changes that will piss you off even more:

It has already been announced that the Army is going to be dropping the Dress Greens as their Class A uniform, and adopting a version of the Army Dress Blues to be the standard dress uniform.

What does this mean?

1. Soldiers (like myself) assigned to Special Forces, Ranger, or Airborne units will no longer blouse their pants and wear Jump Boots.

2. No more "combat patches" or unit patches.

3. No more Tabs.

* Ranger, SF, Sapper tabs will be worn as metal mini badges on the left pocket.

4. Only E4 and below wear berets. This means NCOs, WOs, and Officers wear the bus driver (service) cap.

What does it really mean? Special Forces, Ranger, and Airborne leaders wont even wear their beret while in Class As.

Anyway, I could go on and on...but the bottomline is;

the Army is finding ways to take the special things earned by warriors away from them, so that the REMF soldiers dont feel inferior.

[Marswolf]

I hate berets; I hate berets, I despise those sissy berets; and I hate them. I don't like them either. Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. "Special Forces" huh? Only male "special" people I know who wear berets are either French or gay or both.

I do like boonies. I was wearing one both times when I met with General Abrams in 1969. He hated boonies. Too f...in' bad. They are practical head gear, not a fashion statement.

Ric Shinseki was a disappointment in so many ways. His appointment by Clinton explains a lot. His mindless arrogance was only equaled by his incompetence.

Here is a years old review that pretty well sums up the idiot General and the black beret fiasco: http://www.militarycorruption.com/blackberet.htm

I hate berets. I thought they looked wimpy in the 60s

[BimmerFreak]

I hate berets; I hate berets, I despise those sissy berets; and I hate them. I don't like them either. Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. "Special Forces" huh? Only male "special" people I know who wear berets are either French or gay or both.

I agree that berets suck, but these represented organizational headgear earned by those of us that went above and beyond.

Now they are just a hot smelly hat.

[Marswolf]

I disliked berets when they were green and in Vietnam. If you can't tell the warrior without his chapeau, he isn't a warrior. You can tell a warrior by the look in his eyes and on his face. It has nothing to do with a hat.

[molonlabetn]

Certified badasses should be awarded these:

[Marswolf]

Well, that looks less ridiculous than a beret.

Maybe a nice Pickelhaube?

[Rightwinger]

I have three retired berets still at home with me. I like berets and what they stood for at the time. It can't be helped that some don't like what they stood for. I wouldn't own a tan beret.

Someone get me a stress card please.

[BimmerFreak]

Certified badasses should be awarded these:

Holy ****! What school do I need to attend to earn one of these!!!!

[towerclimber37]

I dont know Joe..but I'd be right there with ya!! now THAT is a kick A$$ cover!!!!

[molonlabetn]

Actually, that's what I wear when I mow the lawn... keeps the low-hanging branches out of my face, and falling walnuts from knocking me out.

[Guest c.a.s.]

Heat stroke much?

Loony bin much?

[bteague2]

Certified badasses should be awarded these:

is that made with tin foil by any chance?

[BimmerFreak]

is that made with tin foil by any chance?

Nah, Eddie doesnt like glocks....

[Guest Phantom6]

I hate berets; I hate berets, I despise those sissy berets; and I hate them. I don't like them either. Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. "Special Forces" huh? Only male "special" people I know who wear berets are either French or gay or both.

...I hate berets. I thought they looked wimpy in the 60s

Ah, Marswolf. Don't hold back. Why don't ya go ahead and tell us how you really feel?

You wrote: "Special Forces" huh? Only male "special" people I know who wear berets are either French or gay or both.

That's Outstanding! May I use that?

[LA_357SIG]

Berets: I got out right before the switch. I liked the old BDU cap. I would spray starch on it, put it on the end of my roll mat and let it dry so in the morning it would keep shape all day. (or until I would sweat so bad or throw it in my rucksack during loading operations) 88H

"Oh no he didn't, a 2 year old thread". Yes, I went there.

Edited March 24, 2010 by LA_357SIG
I can't believe you forgot the #1 Army rule. Hurry up and wait.

[Guest adamoxtwo]

I received my Beret at 5th Group (support guy). I will say this....the beret that I was issued there was quality and then the army started handing out the Black one's and they were cheap and flimsy (about impossible to Mold correctly). Again Politics play up to the under performer's to make them feel good. It's a crock of **** and an embarrassment.

[Capbyrd]

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

This reminds me of something that one of my heroes once said. I quote the great Jerry "The King" Lawler here.

"Win if you can, lose if you must but always, always cheat!"

Words to live by.

[BimmerFreak]

Wow, this thread is a blast from the past!

(Berets still suck!)