Approaching a Gun Disliking Wife

[ukerduker]

I am unable to discuss firearms with my wife because she does not want or like guns in her possession. I have plenty of firearms in my house, but she wants nothing to do with them. She assumes that my ADT home alarm will protect her from any emergency that may arise. My question to you ladies is: how can I get her to take an interest in shooting? I don't want push anything on her but I do want to give her another tool to protect herself when I'm traveling, due to my job (and I travel ALOT).

I wanted to take her out shooting a .22 rifle and pistol next week, but I'm not sure if this would be enough to convince her to become comfortable with and welcome firearms as a part of our family.

Any ideas?

[TGO David]

During the summer we tend to have get togethers. Sometimes for shooting, sometimes just for a meal somewhere. You should consider bringing her to one of those so that she can meet a few of the other wives and hear why they shoot.

[ukerduker]

During the summer we tend to have get togethers. Sometimes for shooting, sometimes just for a meal somewhere. You should consider bringing her to one of those so that she can meet a few of the other wives and hear why they shoot.

That would be a start. I feel she needs more exposure. I don;t want need her to be a crack shot, but I want her to feel secure during my absense.

[Guest Bluemax]

First, Clear your thoughts, try to reach a point in your mind that you feel truly objective to others opinions

Second, Subtract from this point any inner feelings of accountability

Lastly, ignore any feelings of reason, no matter how strong.

Once you are able to achieve and maintain this level of mental preparation, you should be prepared for a dispute with the female mind

"Wear Your Faith As You Would Your Armor" Good Luck and Godspeed

[Fadex]

I think that sounds like a great idea. My fiancee has never been around firearms in her life until she met me. I have to give her credit that she is not overly scared of them and I did actually get her to go to the range and shoot a .22. Maybe she would also feel more comfortable in a more social situation with other women that shoot.

[Guest Bronker]

During the summer we tend to have get togethers. Sometimes for shooting, sometimes just for a meal somewhere. You should consider bringing her to one of those so that she can meet a few of the other wives and hear why they shoot.

David, as usual, has a great idea. I would also add what I did with my wife. She was the exact same way. Terrified due to ignorance. My wife respects me, my abilities, my capabilities, and my knowledge. However...when it comes to teaching her any skill of such, I lack the patience, and she can sense that. All of that to say this: she doesn't need to learn from you. What I did was this: I sent her to a VERY good HCP course, that I DID NOT attend. I also paid for her mother to take the class as well. A few of her lady friends took it with her. They made it a "mommy's day out" and I gladly kept the kids. I didn't send her because I knew she would carry, but rather that she would gain confidence in the fact that I did. That 8 hour class gave her the unobstructed and unbiased info that she needed. They had an absolute blast!! She went from a scared wife like yours...to an armed pro-active woman who carries a semi-auto in her nightgown. I figured out that the best thing I did was get out of the way, and let her go at her speed and get an objective education. Believe me, it'll make all of the difference!!! Lots of luck! Send her through a GOOD HCP class. And DO NOT go with her.

[Guest Astra900]

Okay, hide her cell, disconnect the land line, then, pay a buddy of yours to come kick in your front door 'bout 2AM. Yeah, you'd have to pay to fix the door too, but small price to pay for her to see you chase a guy out of your house; Pistol in hand.

[Guest Astra900]

oops

Edited March 19, 2009 by Astra900
double post

[Bigiron]

My wife was quite nervous if guns were being handled around her........until she was robbed in our driveway. She now has her own handgun with CT laser grips/sight.

[ukerduker]

Okay, hide her cell, disconnect the land line, then, pay a buddy of yours to come kick in your front door 'bout 2AM. Yeah, you'd have to pay to fix the door too, but small price to pay for her to see you chase a guy out of your house; Pistol in hand.

I award you points for creativity, I don't belive I will use your advice. I want to stay married.

[Guest tedbo]

Plus stay breathing!

[9teeneleven]

Friends don't shoot friends so that their wife will let them have guns.

[Guest SouthernSaltine]

My wife always makes sure that i have mine when ever we leave the house. I took her to the range with me a few times and now she is hooked!

[Guest Rem_700]

LOL...This is in a ladies forum and not one lady responded!Just thought i'd point that out...lol

[ukerduker]

LOL...This is in a ladies forum and not one lady responded!Just thought i'd point that out...lol

Very interesting. Any ladies care to share likes/dislikes about your initial exposure to firearms?

[creeky]

Not a lady... but might I suggest a "TGO's Lady's Day" maybe with a sponsorship with one of our fine Gun Shops?

Maybe HeroGear (I think you know of some private land somewhere), or Guns and Leather could host an unofficial event. Only a few guys there to act as RSO's and to help with any questions. Guy's wouldn't be allowed to shoot, but could come and hang out (maybe work the grill?) as long as they stayed away from the firing line. (Give the lady's their space.)

The reason I mention this, is our Church has been having a Pistol and Skeet shoot for a couple of years now. Started out for the men, then more and more women of the congregation wanted to come. Then it became a men & women's shoot. Now we have been approached and are planning a "Women's Only Shoot" for the ladies in our congregation. The only guys there will be the ones acting as RSO's on the lines.

Just an idea. It maybe more trouble to plan than it is worth though.

I will add this... One lady at our last shoot had never fired a pistol in her life! Was very scared of them. I spent five minutes, one on one... and she was knocking bowling pins down with .40 cal Glock like clockwork. She absolutely loved it! How much? She bought her husband a .45 Glock for Christmas, already has S&W 9mm, and asked her husband a Kahr 9mm for her anniversary! She loves to shoot now. (YMMV) She is also the one that approached other ladies at church for their "own range day". (Oh yeah, loves shooting clays too!)

Sometimes... women just need to be women without a bunch of guys hanging around. (IMHO)

Edited March 19, 2009 by creeky
I spell like a monkey on crack when trying to type fast. Speed kills.

[E4 No More]

As a former police officer, (1988 - 1993), who also worked for ADT for a short time when I got out of college, (11/1997 - 2/1998), I would tell you to tell her that her trust in the alarm company and the timely response of the police to the alarm is misplaced.

The alarm company shows you pretty commercials with a reactive representative promptly responding to the alarm with his concerned supervisor hovering over his shoulder. That is total BS! Unless things have changed dramatically since I worked for them, the rep is supposed to call the home to verify that the alarm is NOT FALSE, and then call the police who tend to look at burglar alarms like the car alarms constantly going off around us. Depending where you live it can be a long damn time before the police arrive. What good is that if she's already dead? And don't think the majority of burglars are unaware that someone's home when they break in. They don't tend to choose homes at the spur of the moment.

[TGO David]

However...when it comes to teaching her any skill of such, I lack the patience, and she can sense that. All of that to say this: she doesn't need to learn from you. What I did was this: I sent her to a VERY good HCP course, that I DID NOT attend.

You said what I was searching for the words for. I think every husband can relate to having told his wife something and her not believing it or accepting it as complete truth until she heard it from an unbiased third party. It's a law of nature I think.

All of which sort of ties back to my suggestion of having her attend a get together with the other wives / girlfriends / "wimmens" that shoot. Chances are one of them will say something super simple that will suddenly click for her and all of us men will be able to do this off to the side somewhere -->

[Guest eyebedam]

Well I will say my wife was so anti-gun it would make your head spin. She's never been around them & they make her nervous. It will take awhile to get yours used to them. I still haven't been able to talk mine into going shooting but I believe she will in due time.

I know I'm making progress when she went out on her own & bought me a box of ammo as a surprise for my birthday.

Try this-tell her you will do 3 things she wants to do. It don't matter if it's ballet or chick flick just whatever she wants to do, if she will keep an open mind & go to the range with you 1 afternoon. It may work it may not but it's worth a try.

[xd shooter]

All it took for Angel was one shot. I talked her into shooting my XD9sc & after the first shot she turned & sait I want one!!! Before that she didn't want guns in the house, now she carries 2 guns wherever she goes.

[ukerduker]

Well I will say my wife was so anti-gun it would make your head spin. She's never been around them & they make her nervous. It will take awhile to get yours used to them. I still haven't been able to talk mine into going shooting but I believe she will in due time.

I know I'm making progress when she went out on her own & bought me a box of ammo as a surprise for my birthday.

Try this-tell her you will do 3 things she wants to do. It don't matter if it's ballet or chick flick just whatever she wants to do, if she will keep an open mind & go to the range with you 1 afternoon. It may work it may not but it's worth a try.

This is true in my house also. She is scare to touch a firearm, and she wants nothing to do with it. She stills jokes with me when I wear my pistol around the house. "What are ya, a tough guy?" For now I need to take small steps in this process.

As a former police officer, (1988 - 1993), who also worked for ADT for a short time when I got out of college, (11/1997 - 2/1998), I would tell you to tell her that her trust in the alarm company and the timely response of the police to the alarm is misplaced.

The alarm company shows you pretty commercials with a reactive representative promptly responding to the alarm with his concerned supervisor hovering over his shoulder. That is total BS! Unless things have changed dramatically since I worked for them, the rep is supposed to call the home to verify that the alarm is NOT FALSE, and then call the police who tend to look at burglar alarms like the car alarms constantly going off around us. Depending where you live it can be a long damn time before the police arrive. What good is that if she's already dead? And don't think the majority of burglars are unaware that someone's home when they break in. They don't tend to choose homes at the spur of the moment.

I know this, but she has been brainwashed by the brilliant commercials. I told her we need to replace the ADT stickers on the doors/windows with "Forget about the alarm, beware of the Sig owner inside".

In any case, I will keep trying until I get her some exposure and raise her comfort level.

[I_Like_Pie]

Do something she likes to do...a lot. And get to enjoy it. She will notice your effort and one day it may open up a channel to where she can enjoy your hobby.

Honestly...this works.

[Garufa]

Do something she likes to do...a lot. And get to enjoy it. She will notice your effort and one day it may open up a channel to where she can enjoy your hobby.

Honestly...this works.

So I'm not the only delusional one! Yippee!!

[ukerduker]

Do something she likes to do...a lot. And get to enjoy it. She will notice your effort and one day it may open up a channel to where she can enjoy your hobby.

Honestly...this works.

It would probably involve the Lifetime cable channel. I will have nothing to do with that. I would rather have her attend a ladies day out at the range.

[PackinMama]

The ladies on here have been pretty quiet lately, but I think many of the ideas the guys gave you so far are very good.

I grew up in a shooting/hunting family, and have been shooting guns since I was 4 years old.....so it's difficult for me to give you any advice in your situation.

I really like I_Like_Pie's idea. I think a little effort on your part to get into something she likes doing would be your best move toward getting her into something you like. Good Luck!