Chattanooga area to get own Barbie!

[strickj]

Got this in an email,and couldn't stop laughing from the sad,but true stereotypes!

Mattel recently announced the release of the improved limited-edition

Barbie Dolls for the Greater Chattanooga Area

"Lookout Mountain Barbie" This princess Barbie is sold only at HamiltonPlace Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

"Big Ridge Barbie"

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit.

She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.

"Rhea County Barbie"

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

" Signal Mountain Barbie"This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership.

Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

" Ringgold Barbie"

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety-Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

"Soddy DaisyBarbie"

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Dayton Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

"DowntownBarbie"

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Yellow Springs Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"Highland Park Barbie"

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass.

Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"Allen Gold'sBarbie/Ken"

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

[dralarms]

ROTFLMAO:koolaid:

[Guest Ctucciar]

WOW. how perfect.

[Guest eyebedam]

Sweet

[Luckyforward]

As a native Chattanoogan, I saw them all! LOL

[Guest mustangdave]

Where's Chattanooga? Must avoid:screwy:

[mousegunner]

You definitely have all the Chattanooga area stereotypes down pat. How about showing us the Chattanooga Ken dolls?

[Luckyforward]

Where's Chattanooga? Must avoid:screwy:

We have the same here in Nashville, Dave . . .

Harpeth Hall Barbie

East Nashville Barbie

Brentwood Barbie

Madison Barbie

. . . I could go on and on . . .

[Guest mustangdave]

We have the same here in Nashville, Dave . . .

Harpeth Hall Barbie

East Nashville Barbie

Brentwood Barbie

Madison Barbie

. . . I could go on and on . . .

LMAO....Antioch Barbie.... ewwwww

[BrasilNuts]

That is very funny!

[Luckyforward]

I think I saw Antioch Barbie on a street corner near Hickory Hollow Mall . . .

[Almond27]

Allen Gold's Barbie LMAO you should hear some of the jokes we have at work about that place.

[Guest mustangdave]

I think I saw Antioch Barbie on a street corner near Hickory Hollow Mall . . .

Then there's CHICA Barbie and Hoochi Momma Skipper...strolls either Nolensville Pike or Murfreesboro Pike

[Guest mustangdave]

I think I saw Antioch Barbie on a street corner near Hickory Hollow Mall . . .

Then there's CHICA Barbie and Hoochi Momma Skipper...strolls either Nolensville Pike or Murfreesboro Pike

Edited March 3, 2009 by mustangdave
de;ete this

[Guest Astra900]

"Highland Park Barbie"

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass.

Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Optional accessories should also include a carton of Newports and a food stamp card.

[Guest Grout]

I first saw this several years back and forgot all about it.I think it was on Scenic City forum.

[Guest abailey362]

lol. where's cleveland barbie and her speed trap?

[Garufa]

.

Edited March 4, 2009 by Garufa

[Guest TargetShooter84]

lmao too funny

[R1100R]

That is too funny.

When in Nashvegas don't forget a Dickerson Road and Bordeaux Barbie.

[Guest bkelm18]

Kinda reminds me of a skit I saw on MadTV or SNL once... Gangsta B*tch Barbie.