OH CRAP!

[Capbyrd]

27 minutes ago, hipower said:

This is almost as good as those Gummi Bear Stories a few years ago! 

I'm not in this for the laughs, I'm just here to spread the good word.  A sparkling sphincter brings a profound happiness that you just don't get from scraping your split level with tree carcass.    

[hipower]

1 minute ago, Capbyrd said:

I'm not in this for the laughs, I'm just here to spread the good word.  A sparkling sphincter brings a profound happiness that you just don't get from scraping your split level with tree carcass.    

You have such a way with words!

[Garufa]

I never thought these words would come out of my mouth but...what kind of bidets do you fellas like? 

Edited December 8, 2020 by Garufa

[E4 No More]

44 minutes ago, Garufa said:

I never thought these words would come out of my mouth but...what kind of bidets do you fellas like? 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07ZRCMX6Q/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o08_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 

[Capbyrd]

1 hour ago, Garufa said:

I never thought these words would come out of my mouth but...what kind of bidets do you fellas like? 

 

I bought the Luxe Bidet Neo 320 for myself because I thought hot water would make a difference.  Turns out, it takes a long time for water to get hot so most of the time it’s cold water coming out.   You don’t really notice.   
 

Luxe Bidet Neo 320 - Self Cleaning Dual Nozzle - Hot and Cold Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (white and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JG3NVG2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_W9b0FbFKTNKXR?psc=1

 

 

if you want to save some money and don’t have to worry about women or hot water, the Neo 120 is the more affordable option.  
 

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_jac0Fb5TKAX1T

 

 

if you live a lifestyle of the rich and famous, the Washlet S300e and S350e are full featured seats that will turn your poo time into king time. 

[Erik88]

I've only experienced a bidet once. I was around 10 years old and I used to go with my mom when she cleaned houses. We were at some fancy house in Farragut and I tried their fancy toilet. I remember it being an extreme shock. Freezing cold water straight to the ass cheek. It wasn't pleasant. 

One thing I couldn't figure out. How do you aim them? I found it was never on target and I wasn't willing leave it on long enough to aim it.

I'm a bit more adventurous now. I'd be willing to give them another shot if someone can explain that part.

[Chucktshoes]

8 minutes ago, Erik88 said:

I've only experienced a bidet once. I was around 10 years old and I used to go with my mom when she cleaned houses. We were at some fancy house in Farragut and I tried their fancy toilet. I remember it being an extreme shock. Freezing cold water straight to the ass cheek. It wasn't pleasant. 

One thing I couldn't figure out. How do you aim them? I found it was never on target and I wasn't willing leave it on long enough to aim it.

I'm a bit more adventurous now. I'd be willing to give them another shot if someone can explain that part.

The ones I used had a control like the power mirror in a car. 

[Garufa]

I’m willing to give it a go but would much prefer the caress of warm water rather than the shock of cold that is sure to result not only in discomfort but a “reduction” in ego and “presentation”.

Got no hot water source next to the throne and am not going to have hoses  all over the place, so I may just have to continue life as a heathen.  Same for the Mrs.

 

[Capbyrd]

3 minutes ago, Garufa said:

I’m willing to give it a go but would much prefer the caress of warm water rather than the shock of cold that is sure to result not only in discomfort but a “reduction” in ego and “presentation”.

Got no hot water source next to the throne and am not going to have hoses  all over the place, so I may just have to continue life as a heathen.  Same for the Mrs.

 

The warm water model comes with a t fitting and a hose.  You’re supposed to drill into the back of the vanity but I routed around the front and it stays hidden enough.  The issue is that it takes longer than a bumwash for the water to get hot.  You can help that along by running the hot water in the sink while you drop the kids off and it should be warm by the time cleanup starts. 

[Garufa]

2 minutes ago, Capbyrd said:

The warm water model comes with a t fitting and a hose.  You’re supposed to drill into the back of the vanity but I routed around the front and it stays hidden enough.  The issue is that it takes longer than a bumwash for the water to get hot.  You can help that along by running the hot water in the sink while you drop the kids off and it should be warm by the time cleanup starts. 

All that ain’t gonna happen, but you sir are a master of potty humor! 

[hipower]

1 hour ago, Garufa said:

All that ain’t gonna happen, but you sir are a master of potty humor! 

Garufa...I never thought anyone would equal the consistancy of your humor.

You have been DETHRONED by Capbyrd!

[JunkiCosmonaut]

2 hours ago, E4 No More said:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07ZRCMX6Q/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o08_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 

The tiny ballerina sold me  I sent this link to my girlfriend and she sent this back saying "does it come with the butt balarina"

Edited December 9, 2020 by JunkiCosmonaut

[E4 No More]

15 hours ago, Erik88 said:

I've only experienced a bidet once. I was around 10 years old and I used to go with my mom when she cleaned houses. We were at some fancy house in Farragut and I tried their fancy toilet. I remember it being an extreme shock. Freezing cold water straight to the ass cheek. It wasn't pleasant. 

One thing I couldn't figure out. How do you aim them? I found it was never on target and I wasn't willing leave it on long enough to aim it.

I'm a bit more adventurous now. I'd be willing to give them another shot if someone can explain that part.

With mine you either position it through trial and error while mounting, or you just move your butt. I use the latter. You get a sense of the right position. Once you get used to the cold water it's not bad.

Edited December 9, 2020 by E4 No More

[DaveTN]

I’ve said it before and I'll say it again…. There’s something wrong with you guys.

[E4 No More]

49 minutes ago, DaveTN said:

I’ve said it before and I'll say it again…. There’s something wrong with you guys.

[AuEagle]

What's next?  Someone gonna compose a parody song to the tune of Raspberry Beret?

[Chucktshoes]

59 minutes ago, DaveTN said:

I’ve said it before and I'll say it again…. There’s something wrong with you guys.

No, there’s nothing wrong with us. Our hineys are fresh and clean. 

Think about it this way. If you got some poop on your hand, would you wipe it off with a dry paper towel and call it good? I wouldn’t. So I am all about a bidet or wet wipes now. 
 

If you’re just using dry toilet paper, you might as well still be using leaves. It’s just plain uncivilized. 

[E4 No More]

1 hour ago, Chucktshoes said:

No, there’s nothing wrong with us. Our hineys are fresh and clean. 

Think about it this way. If you got some poop on your hand, would you wipe it off with a dry paper towel and call it good? I wouldn’t. So I am all about a bidet or wet wipes now. 
 

If you’re just using dry toilet paper, you might as well still be using leaves. It’s just plain uncivilized. 

First: LOL!

Second: Wet wipes do not break down as claimed. I've know a couple of plumbers who said that they are responsible for many blockages, and they have to basically dig them out of the treatment plants.