Training My Wife

[pop pop]

How many of you have problems getting your wife to train for a bad day? I don't do this often but my sweetie just doesn't want to think about such things.

I will start this our with the fact I like to read gun Magazines. I sometimes use Massad Ayoob's articles to educate myself. In the May/June issue of American Handgunner, which I just received today, has articles in "The Ayoob Files," Titled Home Invasion: The Coker Family Incident.

This event happened in Jacksonville Florida, in a "nice" neighborhood, in 2014. At 6:20 the next morning the Coker family underwent a life and death struggle with 3 Jacksonville Gang members, of "The Cutthroat Committee" which the gang called themselves. Only one ended up waging the deadly battle, in the home invasion. The 2 others fled the scene after the battle started.

This grandfather(asleep in is room), and awaken grandmother, who had a young grandson spending the night and was asleep in a bedroom, waged the battle for their lives that early morning of the 15th.

After finishing reading the article I told my sweetie I wanted her to read and discuss the article with me. She shrugged her shoulders and said she didn't want too, left the den and went to take her morning shower. I don't ask her to do this often, maybe a couple times per year, but I always get the same response. By the way our grandson spent the night with us last evening as well.

I hope you guys have a better time getting your wives involved. This article was an all out battle both the man and women fought together to defeat a 20'ish Y O intruder, evidently, intent on killing them both.

At this moment my grandson and her are preparing meatloaf dinner, for us and his mom who will pick grandboy up at 1:30. After sweetie finishes her morning of grand motherhood, I intend to get her to read this article and do some teaching with her.

One thing I do know, the perp in the article kicked in the door on the Coker's home, which they are not going to be able to do on our home, because I hardened the entry doors on our house before hand. The Coker's did that after their battle.

Can someone kick your door in, and gain entry to your home? By the way Mr Coker was slow to the battle also. He answered the screams from his wife, with nothing in his hand.

My plan is her and I are going to do some serious, together training in the next few weeks so we can be on the same page if this ever happens to us. My wife has her own guns,(revolvers) and can fire them well, but I want her to get familiar with my guns, and where they are, if she needs them in an emergency.

The Coker's were plagued with a 5 shot snubbie that never solved their immediate pressing problem. My wife has an LCR 38spl, and a Lady Smith mdl 65 loaded with Cor Bon DPX 38 spl for her house gun.

I also want her to see the problems the Coker's had with the limited 5 shot snubbie, and want to impress her to grab the 40 cal pistol by my bed with 14 rounds in it, and show her why it is a better choice in this situation the Coker's faced because of the 40 ammo compacity if we are ever forced to defend ourselves. Guys, if you don't tell them, then they don't know, RIGHT?

I will post how our afternoon goes. Wish me luck!

[Snaveba]

I’ve been married 20+ years and with my wife for 27+ years. One thing I’ve learned, husbands are trained, wives do the training.

But seriously, it is a good idea for a couple to be on the same page when it comes to home defense. 

[peejman]

Training your wife.  That's the funniest thing I've heard in weeks!!!      

wait, is this the joke thread?

 

Seriously though... in my experience, the best person to train your wife is someone else. 

Edited March 10, 2020 by peejman

[RED333]

38 minutes ago, peejman said:

Seriously though... in my experience, the best person to train your wife is someone else. 

DING, DING, DING, we have a winner here!!!

[DWARREN123]

Someone else and preferably another woman who can understand her wants and needs for training and give her some reasons for training. 

[TGO David]

1 hour ago, peejman said:

Seriously though... in my experience, the best person to train your wife is someone else. 

This.  All of this.

[pop pop]

My intent was for Massad's article to show her what they (the Cokers) did in that situation, during their home invasion,  and then for us to discuss the article afterwards and learn form their experience. Perhaps train was a bad word for here.  

[Whisper]

I'm going to throw something out there for your consideration:

Your wife seems to have given you repeated signals that she's not interested.  No matter how well-founded and well-intentioned your efforts may be -- and I agree they are well-founded -- I expect that continued efforts to *make* her interested will only be frustrating for you and annoying for her.  Drop it and move on.  Continue training and preparing yourself.  If she ever gets interested, she knows where to find you.

I base this opinion on 32 years of marriage, and it applies not only to home defense but to any other topic.   Like all my opinions, it's worth everything you paid for it.

Cheers,

Whisper

 

[RED333]

57 minutes ago, Whisper said:

Like all my opinions, it's worth everything you paid for it.

My wife tells me my opinions are like butt holes, everybody has one and it stinks!

[Snaveba]

33 minutes ago, RED333 said:

My wife tells me my opinions are like butt holes, everybody has one and it stinks!

My wife just tells me my opinions......

[Grayfox54]

I was married for 33 years to a feisty Italian woman. If there had been a home invasion, me and my gun would have been the back up. 

[pop pop]

Thanks for the responses. My grandson and daughter left and we sit down and she read the article. In the story the lady brought her J frame to the husband, and he fired it, from the hip, and hit the perp in the heart and forearm, 2 out of the 5 times as they fought hand to hand. I wanted my wife to realize thugs don't always stop after being shot, and that the j frame ran dry, and she had to go retrieve another gun for her husband, which the lady was forced to use to shoot the perp in the neck, paralyzing the perp, who shortly passed away from the previously administered heart shot, so the med examiner ascertained.

My wife has never witnessed a real life/death fight and I wanted to expose her to a real one, at least in print. We sit and discussed what happened to the Cokers, and talked about what we should do if involved with a serious situation ourselves. No two fights are the same, and I know that, but if one is never exposed to what might happen, how are they going to react.

My wife looked intently at the response of the victims wife, and how she responded in a stressful situation even though seriously injured. Call it what you may, how else is an old codger like myself going to make her understand how serious a fight for one's life is without some kind of example and discussions about what others did? I wish you guys could read the story and you could see how one might have a profitable discussion with their wife.

You old coppers, here, lived these stories. My wife has not, so I wanted to expose her to it, so if she ever needs to respond, she could at least have some Idea of how someone else did it and survived, however with serious life long injury aftermath.

In the article, after the 5 shot J frame run dry, the lady retrieved another revolver, her husbands bedside gun, and had to use it herself, from a short distance, as the husband and perp were entangled, still fighting, on the floor.

The fight started out 3 against one, but 2 fled when the guns came out and the fight started, and the husband ended up fighting one on one with a 23 year old gang member, x con, against a 65 year old, but the old guy had a good accounting for himself. The wife was injured seriously early in the fight as the perp picked her up and slammed he to the floor and messes both legs up seriously.

My wife learned from our discussion, and sees why I wanted her to read and discuss this article. All in all it was a successful teaching afternoon.

Yesterday, I had to dispatch a skunk, in my back yard, at 3 in the afternoon, in bright sunshine. We have had 3 rabied skunks here previously, and I would bet this guy was also, because he was out in broad daylight. She asked me, this afternoon, to teach her how to use the 22 rifle, that I shot the skunk with, out my back door. She is getting it, a little more, as we go along. It is my fear she will be alone sooner or later because my health is not good. I desperately want her to know how to protect herself if I am not around.

Greyfox, she carries now and has for 8 years. I think she will use self defense if forced too.

I want to use this magazine article, and everything in my power to help make her understand what one must do to survive a brutal attack, as much as I can. I don't want her afraid to sleep at night, like I have seen some other widows do, if left alone later in life. I pray for the best, but try to prepare her for the worst. That is my goal, and I believe I have been able to kick that can down the road a little further. She is a good shot with her revolvers, on the range, but? This attempt of training focused mostly on mindset here and making her familiar with a real life and death struggle, of this husband and wife, that the article tells about.

I am, at her request,  going to introduce pistol shooting to her, and also the 22 rifle, soon so she can take advantage of both. It is good for her to know all 3 systems, IMO. Then she has choice. I have both pistols, revolvers, and rifles in the house.  

After concluding reading the article herself, she told me, "Man, that was brutal!!" Bingo! Right! Exactly! and Yes, that is exactly what I wanted her to read about and realize. Most all life and death battles are brutal, I am sure you all will agree. We also discussed the aftermath...…...sometimes/most times  Brutal also.

Both the participants, who waged this battle for life, in Jacksonville, have life altering injuries that will stay with them for the remainder of their lives, along with the fact of dealing with the emotional fact of taking of another's life. Their 11 year old grandson also has emotional scars he is dealing with as he was in a bed room sleeping, while spending the night with grandparents. He arose to hearing his grandmother screaming for him to stay in the room, and then heard the whole battle play out.   So yes, there are life long emotional scars that go along with the brutality of a life and death experience. My goal was to prepare my wife for the aftermath. 

Next we will work on the legal aftermath, at another more teachable time. 

Edited to add; I don't know why this computer is printing this in different colors. That was not my intent, but I must have hit something I shouldn't have to cause this. Grayfox, my wife and I just celebrated 50 years of marriage. 

 

Edited March 11, 2020 by pop pop

[E4 No More]

I think that the AVERAGE woman doesn't want to think about such things because they are raised to be nurturing, so the thought of killing someone just doesn't jive with their mindset. They expect the man to protect them even when it was not possible to do so. I know with my wife of 41-years, the only thing that would make her think differently was if someone was threatening our children. Two examples to demonstrate my points:

1. A couple that I knew got divorced after she was raped while her husband was at work. She blamed her rape on him because he wasn't there to protect her.

2. My wife is very even tempered. We lived with my in-laws for a short while after I was discharged from the Marines. My wife and I came home one day to find a young man from the neighborhood throwing his body against the front door, and my sister-in-law's panic-stricken face trying to hold the door shut while holding my young son in her arms. I backed the obviously drug-crazed man away from the front door, and my wife went behind me to enter. When she learned that my son suffered a minor injury to his head, she went and got her dad's 1911 and went back outside. Fortunately, I saw her raise the gun out of the corner of my eye and could heard the police sirens, so I made her put it down. Had I not done so I have no doubt that the man would at least be sporting a gunshot wound to this day.

[Snaveba]

Don’t mess with mama bear’s cubs.