A FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Luckyforward]

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.

The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!'

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.

The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this

religious.'

The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a

pharmacist.'

[ShaunM]

That was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bteague2]

haha, wow that would be an awkward dinner.

[Guest nraforlife]

ROFL....

[Almond27]

haha:rofl:

[Guest HVAC Worker]

Oldie but a goodie.

[Raoul]

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night.

They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.'

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently said "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them, blew the younger alien off his feet, and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed.

When the young alien finally regained consciousness, he focused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, smoking alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess

with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'

[Guest sammopar]

[Sidinman]

I hadn;t heard the first one, but the second one yes. They were both pretty funny.

[BigPoppa]

Am I the only one who sees Fred Sanford when they look at sidinman's avatar ?

[Guest jackdm3]

Ya big DUMMY!

[Guest BEARMAN]

I've heard neither, they were both WAY funny, to me!

Here's an oldie...

Mule went into a bar and sat down and ordered a beer.

Bartender brought the mule an ice cold beer, and set it down in front of him.

Then, the bartender looked at the mule and asked.....why the long face?

I know, I know... that one was drier than a popcorn fart in July! Least I tried!