How to get wife to carry?

[Guest 40swtn]

Interested in get my wife to carry.

The problem being she "doesn't like guns". I believe the reason why is she has not been around guns that much and has not shot any.

I have tried to get her to shoot with me, but have not had much luck.

What are some things I can do to get her more interested in shooting, and guns in general?

All help apprecated.

[Guest Bronker]

Pay for her and a friend to go through a well-taught, thorough HCP class that you DO NOT attend. Not with the pre-conceived notion that this obligates her to carry, but just to learn. Then hopefully after the class, her fears, questions, concerns all get addressed by someone (not you) objective, and in a stress-free environment (without you). Very likely she will come home confident and will likely see the point in carrying, and will proceed on her own to do so. This is precisely how I did it and my wife carries every day. The day before the class, she was terrified of guns. Now she's quite proficient and enjoys shooting. Then let her pick out her own EDC. Make sure a S&W j-frame and a Keltec make it in front of her. She'll likely pick one of those to start with. Just my $0.02

[Guest truthsayer]

See if there's a ladies' only class available in your area. That seems to be the ticket according to the reports on the board so far.

[The Average Joe]

See if there's a ladies' only class available in your area. That seems to be the ticket according to the reports on the board so far.

Being that I'm in the same boat with 40swtn, and that The Bronker has given great advice in his post,

my follow up question would have been, "Okay, now how do you get her interested?"

Truthsayer's post, IMHO, is the best incentive.

I've also heard of family classes being arranged.

We tried to get my mother, her sisters, sister-in-law, daughters-in-law, and her mother (a total of 10 women).

All were very excited about attending.

Sadly, this didn't happen because of scheduling problems.

Because of this, interest was lost.

I would hope they would get together and plan for another try.

[creeky]

As guys we can talk all day long on ways to "try" and get women interested. But i think the best advice is going to come from the women on this board when they start to chime in. Really need to look at this from the other perspective. I've got opinions... but they are from the guy's point of view.

[Trekbike]

I think it all depends on the personality of your wife. Take mine for instance. She does not like to be pushed, bugged, or prodded to do anything she doesn't want to. She wants to do things at her own pace. If she is that type, it's very tough because sometimes discussing it too much, makes it worse. She has to be the one to see the value of getting a permit not you.

Does she have any girlfriends that are into guns? Or girlfriends that know girlfriends that like guns, etc.? (The group approach.) If so, I would take that approach and stand back and see what happens.

Many times people take advice better from someone other than their spouses. Especially in gun training. Get someone else to train her.

Good luck,

David

[Guest Astra900]

Get Louis Vuitton to make her a custom leather holster. Have Prada make her a spare mag pouch. I'll guarantee you she'll carry then!

[Guest Bronker]

Get Louis Vuitton to make her a custom leather holster. Have Prada make her a spare mag pouch. I'll guarantee you she'll carry then!

Well played!

[ftncityfatboy]

my wife is not very "sports minded" as she calls it. what she's actually saying is she lacks coordination. guns & shooting is not her thang. She has stated she has no desire to take a handgun class or carry, even though she's had her purse yanked from her shoulder and she was almost dragged into a passing car by the perps who grabbed the purse. She just "doesn't feel comfortable". I have to be OK with that. IMHO, if your wife doen't want to carry, don't press the issue. That might be an accident waiting to happen. When you begin to carry a pistol around, as we all know, we have become much more safety minded and much more aware of who & what's around us. Its an added responsibility and not everyone want's an added responsibility. So, if she wants to carry - fine, if not - that's fine too. You can just play like she's the rock star & you are her body guard. That would make a great movie.....

[MudBugjr]

Definitly don't push her. just like my Bug out bag she thought that was crazy. But after I explained it and didn;t mention it again things started showing up to put in the bag. Everytime she would shop she would pick a lil something up and now we have 2 bug bags almost ready to go. If she gets good info then sit back and if she wants to she will.

I mentioned the girlfriend approach and that seemed to be the best idea. Of coarse she still hasn't taken it but she makes comments and I know shes thinking about it.

[Guest hustle]

*Get another female relative interested in guns* (preferably one she talks to often)

Send her to a class with a girl friend or female relative.

Keep your gun cleaning crap picked up.

Make her see that you enjoy your guns. I remember my mom always saw dad hunkered over the dining room table with a frown on his face cleaning his gun, and that did not make it look like something enjoyable.

If you take her shooting don't hand her a gun that is going to scare the out of her.

Try to incorporate what she's already interested in. If she's into handbags, show her some carrying purses. That's an excuse for her to go out and buy more bags.

Or, one day when you're fooling around with your guns in the house look at her for a second and ask her to hold a gun of yours. Then say, "Damn baby! You look so hot with that gun!"

If she really doesn't want to shoot or carry, then get her some good OC spray and a taser.

[Guest Bronker]

*Get another female relative interested in guns* (preferably one she talks to often)

Send her to a class with a girl friend or female relative.

Keep your gun cleaning crap picked up.

Make her see that you enjoy your guns. I remember my mom always saw dad hunkered over the dining room table with a frown on his face cleaning his gun, and that did not make it look like something enjoyable.

If you take her shooting don't hand her a gun that is going to scare the out of her.

Try to incorporate what she's already interested in. If she's into handbags, show her some carrying purses. That's an excuse for her to go out and buy more bags.

Or, one day when you're fooling around with your guns in the house look at her for a second and ask her to hold a gun of yours. Then say, "Damn baby! You look so hot with that gun!"

If she really doesn't want to shoot or carry, then get her some good OC spray and a taser.

Case closed!!

[Guest Dr. Pepper]

Hustle had some good advice, especially the one about telling her she looks hot holding the gun (women love hearing their man thinks they look hot). Something that helped me was going shooting with mixed company. Once girls have the chance to shoot a gun in a non-pressuring setting, they often find that it's thrilling to do it and want to do it more (so if you finally succeed at getting her to the range, make sure you teach her how the sights work and how to aim -- I didn't realize what the sight-picture should look like until the hand-gun carry class and then my accuracy increased drastically).

Also, snap caps really helped me feel comfortable handling a gun. It's nerve-wracking having someone who is familiar with a gun scrutinize how you're handling it, especially if you don't know if you're doing things right. So maybe that's a first step: being encouraging about easing her into it and by showing her that it's important to you, not because you want her to condone your gun-lust , but because you love her so much that you want to know that she can defend herself when you're not around.

It took me several years to realize I wasn't actually against guns (what I am against is stupidity and ignorance and hunting for sport -- sorry sport hunters ), and could therefore be interested in them. And since I'm into self-reliance, it has also been a natural fit.

I hope this helps. I really think it's good for women to find other women who are into guns. So if you can find a group of women nearby who are into it, that probably wouldn't hurt. Also, that one book, Armed and Female? It's helped some ladies realize it's not un-ladylike to have a gun (mother-in-law, for one. Now I just need to work on my own mother).

[Guest 40swtn]

*Get another female relative interested in guns* (preferably one she talks to often)

Send her to a class with a girl friend or female relative.

Keep your gun cleaning crap picked up.

Make her see that you enjoy your guns. I remember my mom always saw dad hunkered over the dining room table with a frown on his face cleaning his gun, and that did not make it look like something enjoyable.

If you take her shooting don't hand her a gun that is going to scare the out of her.

Try to incorporate what she's already interested in. If she's into handbags, show her some carrying purses. That's an excuse for her to go out and buy more bags.

Or, one day when you're fooling around with your guns in the house look at her for a second and ask her to hold a gun of yours. Then say, "Damn baby! You look so hot with that gun!"

If she really doesn't want to shoot or carry, then get her some good OC spray and a taser.

Already tried that "You look so hot with that gun!" line already. Didn't work like I had hope for.

Thanks for all the advice. Keep them coming.

Maybe try to find a female shooter and see if that helps.

[Guest JeepMonkey]

Already tried that "You look so hot with that gun!" line already. Didn't work like I had hope for.

Yeah, I tried that too with my g/f...didn't work. Had she been near the ammo she might have shot me. What did work was me teaching her how to break down and reassemble a couple of my guns. Once she understood how they worked and was comfortable with it she started coming with me to the range and shot off my .22WMR. Once she got comfortable with what my Dad calls the "kiddie gun" she moved up to my 20ga. Mossy 500, and then my Winchester 1400, and then my SP101. She now has her CCP and carries a Glock 26.

EDIT: I also had my sister come with us the first time she went to the range. I let her tell my g/f about all the safety rules and how each gun works, where the safeties are, etc. I just came to shoot a few rounds off. I could have sworn a couple times I heard the phrase "shoot John" though...

Edited February 4, 2009 by JeepMonkey

[Guest hustle]

What kind of guns has she already tried shooting?

[eapking]

Take her to an "intro-beginners" class, then an intermediate. Let her try several types of guns. Don't pick one for her. I'll bet she will gravitate to a revolver of some kind, at first. I'd leave the carry class for a few months down the road from the intro class. You really have to tread lightly here. Yes, girlfriends who shoot will help as well.

[Guest 40swtn]

What kind of guns has she already tried shooting?

22 rifle, haven't got her to try a pistol yet. Still working on that.

[Guest 40swtn]

Take her to an "intro-beginners" class, then an intermediate. Let her try several types of guns. Don't pick one for her. I'll bet she will gravitate to a revolver of some kind, at first. I'd leave the carry class for a few months down the road from the intro class. You really have to tread lightly here. Yes, girlfriends who shoot will help as well.

yeah while I was looking for a new carry gun, she liked a S&W model 637 a lot more than she did any of the semi-autos.

[RWF]

I use to hate guns as well, but for a personal reason. I did not grow up shooting guns but always loved the idea until the x showed me how dumb people with guns can scare you away from them. I started off watching my present husband and other people that I know shoot IDPA matches. As hard as everyone tried, I still would not pick up a gun. You can not push her into it. Take her to watch and she may decide to do it. Do not force her or nag her to shoot. It will only turn her against it that much more. Shooting with a group of people that she knows and feels comfortable with is the first step and the rest will come.

this is from a womans veiw.