Need a women's advice/opinion.

[Guest Ctucciar]

I have an issue that I am needing some advice on.

Let me start by saying my wife is not anti-gun by any means. She grew up shooting and has no problem with any firearms being in the house.

That being said, I am about to take my HCP class and get my permit. She had no problem with this and was encouraging. Today my new Galco holster arrived via UPS and she recevied it while i was at work. She called and inquired about it and asked why i needed it. I told her it was for when I became a legally armed citizen. She seemed confused and thought i was only going to carry in my truck (mostly around work b/c it's not a great area of town). I told her i planned on carrying whenever I could and she said she didn't feel comfortable with me carrying in her presence and even more so while with our baby (she is 28 weeks pregnant).

She also had thrown out the statement of why I would need to carry in a place such as Wal-Mart. I tried explaining that violent crime happens everywhere.

I was just wondering if anybody had any advice on how to go about this situation and put her at ease.

Thanks.

[Curiousgb]

You're screwed. It's about feelings not thoughts.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

‘Yes,’ I sighed, 'she’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

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I took my wife to a restaurant The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- ---

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's **** near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

------------ --------- --------- ------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream

And then the fight started....

------------ --------- --------- --------- -----

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.

And then the fight started....

------------ --------- --------- --------- ------

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man ‘Holy crap. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight started.....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started

[Guest m&pc9]

Those were great:rofl:

I will bet the one "whats on the tv" will get me in trouble a few times in the near future

[Guest Astra900]

The wife comes in the bedroom and says I wanna give you some SUPERSEX!

I said, I'll take the soup.

The fight started.

[Curiousgb]

Seriously, I asked my wife and she recommended that you might suggest your wife take the HCP course.

[Oh Shoot]

...

She also had thrown out the statement of why I would need to carry in a place such as Wal-Mart....

What an example!

Is she aware of number of crimes at Wal-Marts around the nation?

- OS

[Guest jackdog]

do some searching on the board. There was a thread that actually showed just how dangerous walmarts are. Remind of the numerous mall shootings in gun free zones. A simple internet search will provide tons of cases were people defended themselves or family via a handgun. You should be able to show her enough examples that she will change her mind. Ask her what the police mans job is, she will say to protect us. then show the supreme court rulings that they are not required to.

[Guest hustle]

She's probably thinking that if you have a gun, then you're going to try to play hero if a situation ever arises. I have one friend that said, "I have my gun carry permit now. I'm just waiting for someone to try and rob a cashier in front of me at wal-mart!"

It also sounds like you gave her a very vague response that should have been worded more wisely (key words/phrases to use: your protection, safety, the baby, for the family, make it home safe...) She's thinking about what that gun could mean to your new baby on the way, and that might mean trouble. Just try to see things from a scared new mom's point of view. Also, a common misconception is that if you are unarmed, a bg is less likely to hurt you because they will feel less threatened.

Good luck. This is going to be a tough one.

[Guest superdrew4000]

I'm pretty much in the same boat as Ctucciar. Right now my plan is to leave the issue alone until I can take my lovely wife out to the range and let her shoot a little bit. See if that starts to change her mind or not.

At the end of the day though, I know I have an obligation to keep my family safe, even if I have to sleep on the couch a few nights to do it.

Let us know if you find a magic argument to change someone's mind about carrying a firearm for self-defense.

[Garufa]

She's probably thinking that if you have a gun, then you're going to try to play hero if a situation ever arises. I have one friend that said, "I have my gun carry permit now. I'm just waiting for someone to try and rob a cashier in front of me at wal-mart!"

It also sounds like you gave her a very vague response that should have been worded more wisely (key words/phrases to use: your protection, safety, the baby, for the family, make it home safe...) She's thinking about what that gun could mean to your new baby on the way, and that might mean trouble. Just try to see things from a scared new mom's point of view. Also, a common misconception is that if you are unarmed, a bg is less likely to hurt you because they will feel less threatened.

Good luck. This is going to be a tough one.

Wise words here. Being tactful, explain to your wife that you are concerned for her safety and the safety of your child. That you are taking steps to protect your family. Do not include yourself in describing who you want to protect! You might not want to use verbage such as "legally armed citizen" or anything that might be construed as a proclamation announcing your rights. That does turn many people off.

Just my . Hope everything works out

[PackinMama]

Being a woman, I can tell you that once our mind is made up about something, it's darn near impossible to change it. Being a mom, I can tell you that you will have the most leverage of all if you use the baby as the main reason that you want to carry a gun. Throw a scenario at her along the lines of, "Honey, what would happen if we're out somewhere with our child and someone threatens our life? Wouldn't you feel better knowing that I have the means available to protect our baby if needed?" Something along those lines should work wonders....especially with a future mother that's used to guns already. You might also want to stress that the safest place to keep a gun handy AND where a child can't get to it without your knowledge is on your person. Also, maybe she would feel better about you carrying if you were to use one of those holsters that require pressing a button to release the gun.

Hope that helps! Good luck!

[ftncityfatboy]

The wife comes in the bedroom and says I wanna give you some SUPERSEX!

I said, I'll take the soup.

The fight started.

the wife & i were naked in bed the other night. she said, "I'll do something really different if you let me tie you to the bed.." So I agreed. After she had securely tied me she puts her clothes on and goes shopping.

And then the fight started....

Edited January 31, 2009 by ftncityfatboy

[Guest slothful1]

I told her i planned on carrying whenever I could and she said she didn't feel comfortable with me carrying in her presence and even more so while with our baby (she is 28 weeks pregnant).

Turn the tables. Tell her you don't feel comfortable with her lack of interest in protecting your baby.

[Guest hustle]

Turn the tables. Tell her you don't feel comfortable with her lack of interest in protecting your baby.

Ooh! Don't go there! That's dangerous ground right there. Why don't you just call her a mom while you're at it.

[Curiousgb]

Ooh! Don't go there! That's dangerous ground right there. Why don't you just call her a mom while you're at it.

Oh and then the real fight started.

[Guest m2jordan]

Turn the tables. Tell her you don't feel comfortable with her lack of interest in protecting your baby.

Don't evan go there dude, that's a good way to get shot with your own gun.

Do try to get her to go to the class, do take her shooting. Wisely choose your words when explaining your side of the discussion.

Have your gun stuff delivered to a trusted friend. or buy locally.

[Guest jdavis]

try to reason with her and get her to understand, if after you have tried everything she still doesnt get it, put your foot down and let her know that you have a duty to protect her and the baby in any situation and some people who would try to do harm to them may not carry little pink nerf baseball bats so to be prepared for those people you will carry your weapon. I think that some women view things in the world with their little pink shades on. just my .02

[Guest Ctucciar]

Thanks for all the great replies. I have already asked her to take get her HCP and she seemed receptive but she wanted to wait until after the baby is a little older (nervous about leaving her and she isn't even here yet). i do plan on talking to her again and explaining how i feel about her and the baby's protection.

[Farman]

Thanks for all the great replies. I have already asked her to take get her HCP and she seemed receptive but she wanted to wait until after the baby is a little older (nervous about leaving her and she isn't even here yet). i do plan on talking to her again and explaining how i feel about her and the baby's protection.

Sounds a little better. If you don't already have one, borrow, buy or go to a range that rents 22s. Less noise and recoil, she may get to enjoying shooting. Second thought.... check with your ob-gyn that going to the range will not affect the baby. She won't be able to use that as an excuse.

[Guest Tracy]

If she's open to being educated about the topic and will absorb some information, then I'd recommend providing her with some materials (books, magazine articles, websites) that provide the logic & examples as to why this is the right thing for you to do. Sometimes solid reasoning will alleviate feelings of anxiety/fear.

My father gave me a book to read which highlights all these cases where a private citizen(s) was saved because they were armed. I don't want to read it until I get a gun since I know the stories would make me feel insecure like, "oh man, that is a scary story--I wish I had a gun right now--ok, I need to go get one asap--but what if something happens before I get one--Ahhh!" In other words, I'd rather read those cases after I have a gun so that there'll be a feeling of reassurance rather than anxiousness.

[canadienmike]

I was in the same boat when I first started carrying and my wife was very uncomfortable around guns. I told her that I was carrying it for our family's protection and after seeing some news stories about all the crazies out there looking to harm people, she has totally gotten behind the idea. Many times now as we're getting ready to go out, she'll ask me if I have my gun on. She still is a little uncomfortable around the gun, but she's getting there. Even mentioned at one point about getting her HCP (which I highly encouraged). Sometimes they just need a little time to get used to something and realize you're not trying to be some cowboy but rather is looking to protect your family.