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My divorce is final....

Guest truthsayer

By Guest truthsayer
in General Chat

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Luckyforward Prolific Contributor

Luckyforward

Posted
Posted

My point overall is that it rarely is just one person's fault. CORRECT, PUNISHER!

I am a licensed mental health therapist, and have done LOADS of marital counseling, as well as having lived through a divorce myself.

There MUST be a history of continual and positive communication for relationships to work.

When couples would come for therapy and I would ask, "How much of your problem is the fault of each of you? Please answer by percentages."

When I got an answer of 50-50, 75-20, or 80-20, I knew there would be room for positive movement during counseling.

When I got an answer - from either person - of 100 - 0; I knew therapy would be fairly hopeless, because one person is saying that they are taking NO ownership in the issue.

You cannot fix what you refuse to own . . .

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I_Like_Pie Prolific Contributor

I_Like_Pie

Posted
Posted

I guess I hit the lottery folks...

I think I am going to go kiss my wife and tell her how much I love her - right now. 50 years from now I hope to be doing the same thing. The best thing in the world to me is my wife, and I can't imagine how awful the situation would have to get to call it quits.

Not brow beating or trying to come off the wrong way...I just feel like a very lucky man after hearing what some of you guys have gone through.

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Punisher84 Postus Maximus

Punisher84

Posted
Posted
You're whipped, admit it.

LOL Well I will admit this, she is very good to me and that earns her some pretty special attention :cry:

My point overall is that it rarely is just one person's fault. CORRECT, PUNISHER!

I am a licensed mental health therapist, and have done LOADS of marital counseling, as well as having lived through a divorce myself.

There MUST be a history of continual and positive communication for relationships to work.

When couples would come for therapy and I would ask, "How much of your problem is the fault of each of you? Please answer by percentages."

When I got an answer of 50-50, 75-20, or 80-20, I knew there would be room for positive movement during counseling.

When I got an answer - from either person - of 100 - 0; I knew therapy would be fairly hopeless, because one person is saying that they are taking NO ownership in the issue.

You cannot fix what you refuse to own . . .

Very well said Lucky. Men are Men and Women are Women. The problem with people in general is that there is no sense of having done anything wrong or at least admitting it.

A simple example. If a man refuses to help out around the house, with the kids, or be attentive to his wife he is at fault.

If a woman refuses to meet the physical and mental needs of her man (yea it's not just about sex), or understand the need for him or have time alone she is at fault.

Relationships are so plagued by shows like Everybody loves Raymond that people think that is what it's like. It should never EVER be like that. I always thought Tim and Jill from Home Improvement seemed to have it kinda squared away lol

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Guest jdavis

Guest jdavis

Posted
Posted (edited)

in my case i stayed married to my ex wife as long as i could stand it, she cheated on me twice and i took her back both times trying to make things work,(i never even thought of cheating on the marriage) the third time i just kept my mouth shut and hired a lawyer who was a good friend of mine ,he hired an investigator who took a lot of pics and video. i waited until the right time and nailed her with all of the evidence, in the last three months wile i was waiting on the investigator i paid for her and her boyfriend to go on vacation ,and bought her a new car,she emptied my savings account, and drained the joint checking account, and i will be damned if she still didnt get half of everything in the divorce, and if you include the savings and checking she got 80% or more, but i got the best of the deal I GOT RID OF HER. o and just to make thebadluckcharm feel a little better after the divorce i went out and found one a lot younger and a whole lot hotter and life has been great ever since. now after telling my story i will say this ALTHOUGH ADULTERY IS NOT ILLEGAL IT IS IMMORAL,AND IMMORALLITY IN MY OPPINION IS MUCH WORSE IN THIS CASE THAN LEGALITY. if you all want real answers to the divorce questions pick up a bible. ( i still say congradulations to truthsayer)

Edited by jdavis
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Punisher84 Postus Maximus

Punisher84

Posted
Posted
Truthsayer ain't talking because he's either hung over, laid up, or in need of bail...:cry:

He just called. I'm going to get him in county. I'm not gonna bail him out I'm just gonna show up, wave, then tell the deputy he stole my dog and scream "That's for the tu-tu comment!" lol

Seriously Truth if you see this pm me and we'll grab a beer one night dude.

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Guest truthsayer

Guest truthsayer

Posted
Posted

Sorry... I've been drinking Gatorade and fondling my new AR in between dates. If I don't check in by the end of the week, send B12 shots and a Curtis Mayfield CD.

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Guest TheBadLuckCharm

Guest TheBadLuckCharm

Posted
Posted
o and just to make thebadluckcharm feel a little better after the divorce i went out and found one a lot younger and a whole lot hotter and life has been great ever since. now after telling my story i will say this ALTHOUGH ADULTERY IS NOT ILLEGAL IT IS IMMORAL,AND IMMORALLITY IN MY OPPINION IS MUCH WORSE IN THIS CASE THAN LEGALITY. if you all want real answers to the divorce questions pick up a bible.

agreed, but my mother was a saint when my father went slipping around.

they were unequally yoked

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Guest jdavis

Guest jdavis

Posted
Posted
agreed, but my mother was a saint when my father went slipping around.

they were unequally yoked

not being a smat a**, but the actions of one man should never reflect an oppinion of the gender as a whole.

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Guest FroggyOne2

Guest FroggyOne2

Posted
Posted
threads like this remind me of why i never want to get married again

Been divorced now for 18 years.. guess I ain't going back to married life again by now.

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