My divorce is final....

[Guest jdavis]

threads like this remind me of why i never want to get married again, man when the divorce is final you feel like a truck just got picked up off your shoulders. life seems to get better when you get rid of the bad one. (best three grand i ever spent). CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!:koolaid:

[Guest HVAC Worker]

Congrats on the big D.I have been thru 2 so far.I would not wish a divorce on my worst enmey.I love my wife,(8 years and going strong,country gals are the best)

[MudBugjr]

I've been through my couple too! Third times the charm though. * years myself good country breed girl.

I worked with a guy that by the time they took Childsupport and alimony he owed the company money! Seriously I did see check stubs that had 60$ left on them out of 700$ a week. I would have to goto prison!

[Rightwinger]

AFAIK Yes and No.

It is not automatic like Child Support, but it can still be asked for and maybe received depending on the situation or agreed to.

I knew a guy once that was paying it to his ex. Mainly because he was seeing his current wife before getting divorced so he agreed to pay her alimony so as to not file for divorce on the cause of adultery (which is on the books as a crime in TN BTW) and cause a scene etc..

If adultry is even still on the books, it doesn't matter. Coming from the investigative side of the house, judges don't even care if you can prove adultry. It matters not. They just hand out divorces for all who present themselves to say "we failed". And yes, unfairly, they weight the division of property and future financials heavily to the womans side in most cases.

Sorry to rain on all the parades but I can't see the celebration in failure here for any divorce.

[Oh Shoot]

.... so as to not file for divorce on the cause of adultery (which is on the books as a crime in TN BTW) and cause a scene etc..

To be precise, adultery is NOT a crime, not a misdemeanor or felony.

It is one of several grounds for divorce, however, if one wants to use it.

- OS

[Oh Shoot]

If adultry is even still on the books, it doesn't matter. Coming from the investigative side of the house, judges don't even care if you can prove adultry. It matters not. They just hand out divorces for all who present themselves to say "we failed". And yes, unfairly, they weight the division of property and future financials heavily to the womans side in most cases.,,,

Adultery can matter VERY much in a contested divorce.

- OS

[Rightwinger]

Only if it can be proven as a detriment to the environment of the children. I have presented evidence of adultry in courts and the judges just state it has no bearing on how marital assets should be divided.

I'm pretty sure it will never be relegated to a crime where jail time and records would occur if it were proven but it would be nice if it were something that caused other members of society to shun the involved parties.

Shunning was a very powerful tool

[Oh Shoot]

Only if it can be proven as a detriment to the environment of the children....

I mean, just in general, forget children.

Guy doesn't want a divorce at all, wife does.

She files on grounds of adultery. Still one of the grounds for divorce, if "irreconcilable differences" is not used, TN's version of "no fault".

I have friend whose wife got the divorce on grounds of his infidelity, and she scored some alimony too.

- OS

[Rightwinger]

Rare,

Someone either admitted it to the judge or prove was provided by someone like me. It usually pisses the judges off to have to not only listen to two folks dump on each other but then have an investigator put on proof with video evidence.

[Oh Shoot]

Rare,

Someone either admitted it to the judge or prove was provided by someone like me. It usually pisses the judges off to have to not only listen to two folks dump on each other but then have an investigator put on proof with video evidence.

Yes, adultery grounds are rarely used anymore, but they still are.

Someone has to file for divorce, and he has to provide grounds.

My first divorce, I filed, had to testify that my wife exhibited "cruel and inhuman treatment". This is before there was an "irreconcilable differences" clause, which was the grounds for my second divorce.

Abandonment, felony conviction, etc, there are still a bunch of divorce grounds if both parties don't want the divorce.

- OS

[Guest SUNTZU]

Lock up your women and whiskey. It's business time.

The night life...ain't no good life...but its my life...

Have fun, and congratulations.

[Guest tnmale46]

A male enhancement product. Try it you'll be amazed at the response

[Guest TheBadLuckCharm]

Threads like this always remind me why I have no desire to be married.

Congrats on the big "D", man!

that's funny...threads like this remind me why people shouldn't get married to a holes...and how disgusting some men are most of the time. Congrats!

[Guest jdavis]

that's funny...threads like this remind me why people shouldn't get married to a holes...and how disgusting some men are most of the time. Congrats!

who is disgusting i really resemble that remark. my divorce was deffinately not my fault i was just proud to get it.

[Fallguy]

To be precise, adultery is NOT a crime, not a misdemeanor or felony.

It is one of several grounds for divorce, however, if one wants to use it.

- OS

Hmmm...well, I thought it was, I know it used to be, but I believe you are right that it is no longer a crime, at least I can't find it.

I do agree that if used it can make a difference in the details of the divorce.

But Rightwinger is right in that it really doesn't take much to get a divorce these days. No fault divorces are fairly cheap and simple. In some cases that may be a good thing, but not sure if it is the best thing overall.

[Punisher84]

that's funny...threads like this remind me why people shouldn't get married to a holes...and how disgusting some men are most of the time. Congrats!

Men are disgusting just about as much as women are controlling and manipulative. It's a 2 way street. Marriage is better for some than others. If my wife and I had gotten married 2 years ago we'd be divorced. We waited and things are great. Lots of ups and downs in 4 years.

People change and grow together or apart. Just how the world is. I also don't think humans as a species are meant to be monogamous and that causes alot of issues for women and men in relationships because you are making a choice to fight basic instincts.

[Guest TheBadLuckCharm]

Too many people get married with lack of forethought.Adultery is the main reason favoritism is shown to the woman's side in the divorce.That and the fact most fathers care more about themselves than their children. When you get married, you are committing to someone for life, not until it gets tough. When you commit adultery. You forfeited your vows.It takes two to say I love you and two to apologize.Now I'm not saying it's always the man's fault. Just 3 out of 4.

Oh and if I recall correctly in TN. temporary alimony does still apply but not unless you have been married something like 7 years and can prove you can't support yourself.(I believe if you have been married like 30 years, depending on your situation you can receive indefinite alimony as well)

[Oh Shoot]

Hmmm...well, I thought it was, I know it used to be, but I believe you are right that it is no longer a crime, at least I can't find it.

...

AFAIK, adultery has NEVER been a crime in TN, not even in the 1800's.

Perhaps you are thinking of bigamy.

- OS

[Fallguy]

AFAIK, adultery has NEVER been a crime in TN, not even in the 1800's.

Perhaps you are thinking of bigamy.

- OS

Nope I was thinking of aldultery and I was thinking as recent as 10 years ago, but it is moot now I guess.

[Punisher84]

Too many people get married with lack of forethought.Adultery is the main reason favoritism is shown to the woman's side in the divorce.That and the fact most fathers care more about themselves than their children. When you get married, you are committing to someone for life, not until it gets tough. When you commit adultery. You forfeited your vows.It takes two to say I love you and two to apologize.Now I'm not saying it's always the man's fault. Just 3 out of 4.

[Guest TheBadLuckCharm]

God gave women the ability to persuade men for a reason.I believe we are all sinners. But you have free will to choose your own actions.Your spouse can only do to you what you allow them to. Some men (and women) may deny it or more so be told what is the "norm" by the world. But I think everyone really wants someone to be there for them whether they admit it or not. God put that desire in our hearts to want each other. Men and women cater to each other as much as they have a weakness for one another. Too many people take their spouse for granted because they were already passed around too many times before they got married. It was meant to be sacred. And sadly mankind does not understand that concept.

Edited January 18, 2009 by TheBadLuckCharm

[Punisher84]

God gave women the ability to persuade men for a reason.

Huh? I'm not following that at all. Men, as well as women, only allow themselves to be led around if they choose. I was told by so many of my friends that once I got married I'd have no freedom, I'd be checking in, blah blah all the usual stereotyped married crap.

I don't ask for permission from anybody, never have never will. I love my wife and respect her enough to let her know I'm safe, I'll be home, and such, but I would never ASK her to let me do anything. I don't expect that from her either. I would never persuade her to do anything either. We all have choices to make and free will. A man or a woman's perceived power over the other is only what that person allows it to be.

[Almond27]

God gave women the ability to persuade men for a reason.I believe we are all sinners. But you have free will to choose your own actions.Your spouse can only do to you what you allow them to. Some men (and women) may deny it or more so be told what is the "norm" by the world. But I think everyone really wants someone to be there for them whether they admit it or not. God put that desire in our hearts to want each other. Men and women cater to each other as much as they have a weakness for one another. Too many people take their spouse for granted because they were already passed around too many times before they got married. It was meant to be sacred. And sadly mankind does not understand that concept.

I think mankind understands it they just don't too much care. Not everyone believes there is a God and such so of course they are not going to follow God's rules. I personally think God will forgive a divorce and sometimes it is better off people get one. My parents did when I was 11 and I think it was somewhat good and bad. But to the original poster Congrats!

[Guest TheBadLuckCharm]

I don't ask for permission from anybody, never have never will.

Sounds like a healthy relationship. Notice I did not say "control".I meant men should have a weakness for their wifes and vice versa. I'm not out to get you. It is good that you let her know, your wife should be your best friend.

Edited January 19, 2009 by TheBadLuckCharm

[Punisher84]

Sounds like a healthy relationship. Notice I did not say "control".I meant men should have a weakness for their wifes and vice versa. I'm not out to get you. It is good that you let her know, your wife should be your best friend.

She very much is. I just see so many of my buddies that have to check in and ask permission to do anything, including spending THEIR money.

I'm happy to tell my wife where I am, who I'm with and when I'll be home. I love her and want her to know I'm safe, but I sure as heck am not gonna ask permission to go get a beer with a buddy after I've worked a 16 hour day and have spent time with her as well.

The problem is on both sides generally, but it's sadly a vicious cycle. I think the key to making a marriage work is simple, but it's the hardest thing for most people to do. Admit their faults and set their limits. Communication is the key. I can talk to my wife about ANYTHING.

My point overall is that it rarely is just one person's fault.