So what would you do?

[Guest Hyaloid]

My only two concerns from an outsider's perspective...

Don't move across country for a 'lateral' move. If the Cost of living et. al offsets the wage increase, then it's probably not in your best interests, IMHO.

Secondly, what if... what if your relationship with your BIL poops the bed? What if he divorces or separates from your sister? What if he hates your work, or is a tool as a boss? What if you get out there, hate it and decide to move back, would it irreversibly damage your relationship with him? What about with your sister? (I am assuming he married your sister, but it is California... ).

No one likes to think like that, but it happens all the time. If it's worth the risk to the familial relationship, your net income increases substantially and you think you'd be better off 5 years from now for having moved, then go for it.

Plus... California? Say it again REALLY slow... practice saying, "Hello, this is bkelm18, and I am from California"... doesn't that scare the bejeezus out of you?

[Guest Astra900]

You'll regret the day cross the border into the People's Republic of Kalifornia.

Get onboard with a Dave Ramsey program or something. If you have a reliable source of income, there are always ways to re-organize and manage it. You may not like the cut backs but it will be light years better than going to ....that place.

[Guest db99wj]

Although you may not have the best job, be thankful for the one you do have.

If it were me, I'd stay right where you're at. Trust me, you're not the only one to miss out on a raise, and many of us will likely miss out on another raise this year. I don't like the fact that I won't see any extra money for a year or three, but I'm more than thankful to see any money at all.

With all the people losing their jobs, unable to find another one, I'd be scared to death to make such a move right now. Just because your brother-in-laws company seems to be doing well today, that's hardly any guarantee it will be doing well tomorrow. Just think about all the people who leave their job one day, thinking everything is fine and dandy, only to show up the next day to find chains on the doors.

Count your blessings, my friend.

Best of luck with whatever decision you make.

My only two concerns from an outsider's perspective...

Don't move across country for a 'lateral' move. If the Cost of living et. al offsets the wage increase, then it's probably not in your best interests, IMHO.

Secondly, what if... what if your relationship with your BIL poops the bed? What if he divorces or separates from your sister? What if he hates your work, or is a tool as a boss? What if you get out there, hate it and decide to move back, would it irreversibly damage your relationship with him? What about with your sister? (I am assuming he married your sister, but it is California... ).

No one likes to think like that, but it happens all the time. If it's worth the risk to the familial relationship, your net income increases substantially and you think you'd be better off 5 years from now for having moved, then go for it.

Plus... California? Say it again REALLY slow... practice saying, "Hello, this is bkelm18, and I am from California"... doesn't that scare the bejeezus out of you?

Working for family: Good errr Great point. Be careful with that. I have worked for my FIL and MIL in the past, we are still close and got along great, but most everyone I have ever talked to that worked with family said it didn't turn out so well. My situation was the exception from most stories I've heard. I get to talk about that a lot, when talking with someone and that comes up, first thing they ask or say is "Oh......how did that work out?

[Guest bkelm18]

Trust me, I do plan to think about this a lot and do my research. I have lived in CA before, albeit briefly. My mom and sister and that whole side of the "family" live out there so I wouldn't be totally alone. I dunno. I just need a change. It doesn't help that I'm reminded daily that I need more money and a better job. I suppose I should know better than to ask such a rediculous question on here. Maybe I'll go to www.tn-liberal-vaginas.com and see what they have to say...

[Guest bkelm18]

Working for family: Good errr Great point. Be careful with that. I have worked for my FIL and MIL in the past, we are still close and got along great, but most everyone I have ever talked to that worked with family said it didn't turn out so well. My situation was the exception from most stories I've heard. I get to talk about that a lot, when talking with someone and that comes up, first thing they ask or say is "Oh......how did that work out?

I have worked for my father before. And yeah, it didn't work out, but he's an *******, so yeah. I don't think it would be the same with my BIL but who knows.

[Guest nraforlife]

Do whats BEST for your family. You don't sleep with your guns do you?

[analog_kidd]

BK,

You said earlier you were young and single. Your best asset is free time. Use it to get a second job, and use every penny of it to pay off debt. You have no responsibilites to a wife or kids, so work as much as you can. I know it may be for less than what you want to make, but it will help speed up the process. And it's only temporary. One day you'll be debt free. Set up a schedule for how long you need a second job. When you reach your goal, quit.

Sell some stuff. Everyone has junk laying around they never use, that someone else wants to buy and keep in their house. Use every penny to pay off debt.

Look at your bills and see if there is something you can do without. Really need 50000 minutes on your cell plan? Really need 500 channels of cable? Really need to eat out 8 nights a week? You get the idea, look for ways to cut back. Every penny you save, pay off debt.

Get yourself on a tight budget. Here's how I do it ala Dave Ramsey. Sit down and list out everything you pay for, rent, utilities, gasoline, food, insurance, medical, credit cards, everything. Think about extra stuff too like car repairs, things that come once a year or infrequently like dues or HCP renewal and add a little in the budget for them. Then, on paper "spend" every single dollar you earn. What I mean is, account and pre-assign every dollar you get. If you list all your bills and assign money to them and you still have $20 left over, find a place to put that $20.

Now force yourself to stay on that budget. We use cash and envelopes. I have an envelope for eating out. Every month we decide how much $$$ we need to eat out. When I get paid, I take that much money out in cash and fill the envelope. When I want to eat out I grap the envelope. If there is $50 in it I go where ever I want. If there is $10 left in it I go to McD's. If there is nothing in it, I fix a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at home. It sucks sometimes if there is nothing left, but I realized that I'm a big boy now and somtimes big boys have to do the hard things.

Also, in your budget, allways give yourself a little "blow" money. Not a lot, but some. This is for you to spend any way you want. I've found if you put yourself on a budget that is so restrictive and you never get to blow some money on stuff, you'll just give up.

These ideas are not original. My wife and I teach the Dave Ramsey course. If it sounds interesting to you, I'd be happy to sit down with you personally one evening and give you some more info. Also, if you're interested, I can email you a sample budget that is in Excel format. It is one that I use and works great.

But whatever you do, don't go to Cali. I really think you'll be better off her in TN. Financially, and emotionally.

[Guest canynracer]

I am here FROM California...lived there my whole life...by the time you figure the cost of living, you will find yourself in the same boat, with no guns, no permit. Just to register your car every year is 20% of its worth, and it has some stupid tuff smog laws, most cars fail....I was a mechanic out there, we made GREAT money on smog inspections....

I lived 4.5 hours from San Fran, and used to frequently take my motorcycle through the Napa Valley... VERY expensive.

I dont know what you do for a living, but there are other places that are hiring. If you are seriously wanting to be an electrician, go to school while you stay in your current job.

Think TX, CO, MT, UT, NV

Once again, what is it you do? (if you dont mind my asking)

Edited January 16, 2009 by canynracer

[Guest bkelm18]

Once again, what is it you do? (if you dont mind my asking)

I am a maintenance electrician. No license or anything, consider me the "redneck maintenance man" of lore, without the redneck. I would love to go to school but I just don't have the time or money. The good thing about working for my BIL is that it would allow me to work towards becoming a Journeyman and such. Actually becoming an electrician instead of playing one on TV.

[Guest SUNTZU]

What about working on the reactor in Oak Ridge or Kingston. Join the local electrician's union (yeah, I know) and work your way up.

[Guest bkelm18]

What about working on the reactor in Oak Ridge or Kingston. Join the local electrician's union (yeah, I know) and work your way up.

Thats an option as well.

[Guest jackdog]

Yup a state that plans on giving Iou's to the tax payers. Why because then cow tow to all the damn illegals. Move there and you are be damn sorry. Hell I think I would prefer to shoot my nuts off if given an either or choice.