T'was The Deer Hunt Before Christmas.
T'was the deer hunt before Christmas, and all thought the town.
Not a Creature was stirring, 'cept me gettin my gear up off the ground.
The treesand was hung from the chimmney with care.
In hopes St. Nick and rump roast of deer would soon be there.
My ammo was nestled all snug in the mag.
Visions danced in my head of gettin Rudolph in the bag.
Snuggled warm in my camo with coffee in the pot.
I had just settled down to prepare my shot.
When out across the roof there came such a clatter.
I sprang from my stand to see what was the matter.
Up around the chimmney, I flew like a flash.
Slipped on the snow, and fell on my...
Dazed and confused as I opened my eyes.
The moon gave luster to a startling surprise.
And what to my bleary eyes did appear.
Were the sparkling eyes of a curious reindeer.
I never knew them to be so lively and quick.
To the teeth and the crotch he gave me a kick.
More rapid than eagles his hooves at me they came.
He snorted and wheezed as he dished out the pain.
First it was Dasher then Dancer, then Comet and Cupid.
Santa rolled his eyes and said "That boy's always been stupid.
I slid off of the rooftop, bounded over the wall.
Straddled the fence post to break my fall.
So by the fire I sit, bandaged from my head to my foot.
My clothes tattered and torn, covered with bloodstains and soot.
Recounting my story of terror and fright.
Merry Christmas Y'All, I'm havin bologna tonight!
Merry Christmas Y'all!