I haven't had a drink since 1985. But if you want to get really drunk without the piss beer taste then go find someone who knows what a toasted almond is, then go home with the stuff to make them, make a few drink, relax, play some cards, what ever you want to do just don't drive or shoot. That has got to be the smmothest drunk I have ever been on. Woke up the next day (in the Air Force mind you) in my dorm room, no hat, no id, no wallet, and no idea where in the heck I had been since around 10:30pm the night before.
After finding out I had left my wallet and all my other stuff in another room with a friend I gathered my drunk self (yea I was still plastered), and reported for duty (big mistake). NCOIC took one look at me and told me to go home and he woudl see me the nextday for my duty shift and we would talk about it then.
Well the talk never happened, and I never got that drunk ever again.