Steelharp

The ad showed the whole pic though, bird and all...

Astra, LOVE your avatar! That was an ad in Billboard magazine years ago, with the caption "I'd like to thank everyone in country radio for their work" or something along those lines...

God went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.' The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?' And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.' 'Can you give us an example?' 'Thou shall not kill.' 'Not kill? We're not interested.' So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, 'Honor thy Father and Mother.' 'Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested.' Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.' 'Not steal? We're not interested.' Then he went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.' The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery,' 'Not commit adultery? We're not interested.' Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments.' 'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?' 'They're free.' 'We'll take 10.' There, now. That should offend just about everybody...

Now, THAT's funny right there!

Friends don't let friends buy Fobus...

I opened my wallet to him, and before the words got out of my mouth, he saw my permit and went into panic mode. I had backed into a lady's car in a parking lot a few years before, and went to get some contact cement to glue her little emblem back on. She had filed a hit and run, and forgot to rescind it after I'd taken care of her car. It was ugly, and regardless of anyone's learned opinion, I always would say immediately that I have a permit because of it. Thanks, Phillip...

Considering the one time I was pulled over for expired tags and he saw my permit before I managed to say I had one and was carrying... and I was thrown against the cruiser... and my guns thrown on the roof of my car... and I was booked and fingerprinted... ... I'd tell him. Don't listen to the post two above mine.

It has something to do with... uh, certain devices...

Why? It has a hammer that's completely enclosed in the slide. Why would dropping it make it go off?

If Glock can make a 9mm launcher with a 3, 4, 5 lb trigger... why does Kel-Tek have to install the 462 lb variety? The P-11 would be an ideal pocket 9, with about a 4.5 lb trigger...

After one episode. Gone. Perhaps "Rosie Dead" would have snagged ratings. Still would have been one show, though...

Apparently it was a pellet gun. Couldn't have gone as bad, but it was still stupid.

"Positive thoughts attract positive events" is not new, or an addition to religion. The Bible has always said, "What ye sow shall ye reap." It's always been there. It's just knowing it. That's how God set it up for us.

Just looks like Photoshop to me. Print is waaaaaaaaaay to legible, like right from the computer. 1961 would have been a typewriter. Fonts wouldn't look like that at all.

Actual letter from some redneck who writes well! I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home. I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out.. ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw.. my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back. Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.

What's a good shoulder rig for a G... Gl... Glo... Oh, ok... Glock 17/19?

Shoot .44 special first... trust me.

David, may our Lord bring you peace and comfort in this most trying of times. Our prayers are with you.

PISS OFF the Liberals You know what would really PISS OFF the Democrats... Bush should resign now. Then Dick Cheney becomes President (that would really PISS OFF the liberals)!!! Then he appoints Condoleeza Rice as VP. Then Cheney resigns two weeks later and Condoleeza Rice, A Republican, becomes the first BLACK President and the first WOMAN President !!!

I hope you meant "tales." The visual from yours is just... well, disturbing.

Thing is... how do we know Snopes is the absolute last word? Who checks on them?

So, tonight is just a tease? It doesn't go till January?? AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... (Ok, I'm fine... really... it's ok...)

You really think the average gangbanger goes to a range? Or reloads?

That was awesome!

http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-general/20081114/NEWS-US-USA-OBAMA-CLINTON/ Now, THAT's rich! HE has to disclose info... and BO didn't. What a freakin' riot...