bersaguy

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 NURSING HOME POLICE Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel, and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some males actually joined in. One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched.   "STOP!" he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?"  Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper, and held it up to him.   "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster, and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am." As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, with a very sizable erection.. "Oh, good grief," cried Ethel, "not the Breathalyzer again!"

Wife : Shall I prepare Curry or Soup today?            Husband : First make it, we will name it later   A frustrated husband in front of his laptop : Dear Google, please do not behave like my wife... Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting. A married man's prayer : Dear God, You gave me childhood, You took it away You gave me youth, You took it away. You gave me a wife ... Its been years now, just reminding You. A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home for?" Husband answers "Because he's thinking of getting married" Employee : Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home ??? Boss : I am a lion at home too, But there we have a lion tamer !!! A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat." Wife : honey ... you say prayer before eating at home Husband : that's at home sweetheart ... here the chef knows how to cook. Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt : "Please Do Not Disturb me, I am Married and already very Disturbed"  

Back in 1986 my oldest son had an auto accident and suffered brain damage from it. My nights of sleep for the next 4 years were a total wreck. He lost the fight in 1990. During the time my wife and I were dealing with my sons needs which were almost 24/7 for last 2 years we had him at home and I can thank GOD for my great friends that stepped up to help us with his care. During that time between 1988 and 1990 I had my father pass away from Heart Attack, my Grand father I was very close to pass away and my brother next oldest to myself pass away in his sleep. I lost my father in October 1989, My Grand father in June of 1990, my brother in July 1990 and my son in August 1990 and yea, I was having trouble sleeping. Most of the time when I did sleep it was when I would just fall asleep in a recliner for what ever little time I would sleep. I finally in November 1990 went and talked with my doctor about not being able to sleep. I might get a couple hours a night, most of them in a recliner.  She told me that with all I had been through the last two years it's no wonder I couldn't sleep. She was even more concerned that my blood pressure was totally out of control and said it was amazing I had not suffered a stroke with it being that high for so long. She said that could be what was effecting a lot of my sleep issues. She put me on BP meds and also put me on Alprazolam. I asked her what that was for and she said that it would work in conjunction with my BP meds to allow me to rest. It took about a month but I was back in my bed sleeping again and beginning to get 6 to 8 hours of restful sleep.   I have been on these meds since 1990 and I get a restful night sleep most nights. Normal night is in bed by 11PM and up at 8 AM ready for the next day very rested.  Every once in a while I will have some crazy dream that wakes me up and can't go back to sleep. Only happens once every couple months.    For those of you that are having sleep issues, you may want to talk with your doctors about your blood pressure. If it is elevated to high that may very well be a cause you need to address. Also let me add that along with the meds my doctor recommended having so kind of sound in my bedroom, just enough to break the silence without being annoying. I found that having a small aquarium in my bedroom with the pumps running at a low hum helps more than I would have ever imagined......jmho

Would like to welcome you and Beretta to TGO and Gallatin. Many nice folks live in Gallatin and great folks are members here so you should do well with both options............... :cheers: 

For last several years i have been taking a few American Rifleman magazines I get from NRA to my doctors office waiting room. I notice each time I go they are gone. I asked her on trip if she or one of her employees were removing them and she said certainly not. Must be patients taking them and she ask me to continue bringing them each visit so I magic Marker the mail information on them and take the every time I go................. :cheers:

I just went and read my policy and there is no exclusions on Valuables specified as a certain amount like stated above. It just reads a total loss value with a $500.00 deductible and my total loss sustained value is a lot more than it would cost me to replace everything in my house except me or Kasey. It also has personal Liability coverage, Damage to others property and Medical payments to others Coverage's. And this is the third time I have read it...................... :shrug: 

All my home owners/renter agent ask me is what I place the value of in a complete loss and did not ask me to itemize anything in particular as worth x amount of dollars. Now I do have a renters policy and not a homeowners policy but I put an amount out there on what I think it would cost to replace a total loss. They accepted that with no exemptions or itemizing any particular items. I do keep a list of all my firearms with all information on them with them that are in my gun safe and the house guns also but my agent has never ask me about them. Been with them about 12 years now.................... :shrug:

Yep!!! thanks............ :cheers:

Simple, Hildebeast needs more voters...........jmho

I think they had to wait for the right LEO to join the chase. It appeared to me that once that silver car showed up he was the guy going to take the guy down with the TIP execution. The guy with the video did have a faster car but never try to get along side the truck............jmho. I also think they should have taken the bad guy down while they were out in the country rather than wait till he got in town.......jmho

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I picked up a JobSmart model at TSC that operates on 2 AAA batteries and has 3 an adjustable slide lens like a Mag Light and is incredible at 100 yards. I watch rabbits run around a neighbors back yard 3 doors down from my house with little problems. Cost was $7.95 with 2 batteries.

Yep , he is but how many Pro Gun elected Democrats do you find that is willing to write and article and admit he is pro gun?.......jmho

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-heroux/what-if-the-second-amendm_b_9121822.html?

For those of you that don't recognize that Sniper he was the Sniper in the movie Saving Private Ryan...............Great Movie based on true story...............JMHO 

I have lived with out Facebook and Tweeter and all those other world wide Gossip sites and not willing to start any time soon..........jmho

Last time I got a ticket it was in a small town called Watertown and it was about 3AM and I was heading to a bass tournament on Center Hill lake and the squad car was parked in a used car lot waiting for an idiot like me. I was clicking off 63 in a 35 zone. As luck would have it the LEO also liked to fish and we talked for about 10 minutes while he wrote the ticket. He said he could take me to jail for 20 over the limit but just checked the excessive speed square without putting a speed down. I signed the ticket and he let me go. When I got home that night I read the ticket and I was just going to pay it since it was a 70 mile drive to go to court one way. Then on the bottom of the ticket I see the words, "NO CHECKS". Well, I thought about it a couple days and finally decided it is all about money anyway with small towns and I saw that the fine was 55.00 for excessive speed so I wrote out a check to court clerk of Watertown and sent the check and a copy of the ticket. 8 days later my check cleared my bank and I never heard another word out of them. That was in 1988............................... :shrug:

That is what I hope he meant because his statement could be view a few different ways............... :shrug:

  My guess would be his secret ingredient was stupidity but that is.................jmho

You have a PM

  Not sure what you meant by that? Can you elaborate more?

If you go to the hunting and fishing section where I asked if an one bass fishes you can see about all the baits I make at present time. If you have any questions you can post them here or PM me and I will be more than glad to answer them.............. :up:

She is located in Springfield TN and she stopped taking on new patients about 8 or more years ago. You have to book your next appointment before you leave her office from the present visit while your there because her office stays booked 2 months in advance............... :shrug:

Nothing surprises me any time I read the news these days. There is so much stupidity flowing now it's like a never ending case of diarrhea...............jmho