bubbiesdad

Things I Learned in the South A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. There are 5,000 types of snakes, and 4,998 of them live in the South. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one’s seen before. If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha. Onced and Twiced are words. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy! Jaw-P? means Did y’all go to the bathroom? People actually grow and eat okra. Fixinto is one word. It means I’m preparing to do that. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. Backwards ‘n forwards means I know everything about you. The word jeet is actually a phrase eaning “Did you eat?†You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see. You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH em. No, Jew? is a common response to the question, Did you bring any beer? You measure distance in minutes. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. You know what a DAWG is. You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tonys, Tabasco and ketchup. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, and gossip. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin’ Wal-Martin or off to Wally World. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather. Fried catfish is the other white meat. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive dag-nabbit. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.

I went by Goodwill this weekend and picked up five shirts. A little less than $12 and they were nice shirts. She was checking them, remarking how nice they were then asked,"Are you sure these will cover your gun"?

I did mine at the office in West Knox. Two hours from taking a number, to getting my last fingerprint taken on Central Ave.

No problem with that, I've done it three times myself. That's why I always have spare parts.

As we were prepaing to leave, did anyone besides me notice the guy point the rifle downrange and look through the scope,"WHILE HIS BUDDY WAS OUT ON THE RANGE"?

The roster has made it official. Glocks are not unsafe.

A quick prick in the arm? What's so quick about someone spending for 23 years on death row?

We have a member here, who has hosted meet n shoots at his home who can ping a metal sillouette target at 200 yds with a handgun.

The new preacher The new preacher had his first sermon. He had the the spirit on him, preaching hell so hot you could feel the heat and a large number of conversions at the end of the sermon. Shaking hands as everone was leaving he had several people tell him,"You know preacher, Tootie Greene needs to hear you." After hearing all these people say this he asked the head deacon who this Tootie Greene was. "Oh she's a pretty wild woman in these parts, she's led many a man astray." the deacon told him. The next Sunday, while the deacon was handling the offering, the preacher and the song leader were sitting up behind the altar. A woman walked in, dressed in a short dress, enough make-up to make Tammy Faye look like a nun. She walks up to the front and sits down. The preacher can't help but notice that she is wearing no underwear. He leans over and whispers to the song leader,"Brother, is that Tootie Greene?" The song leader takes a look and says," No preacher, that's just the way the lights hitting it".

Best acting she's ever done.

Membership is $40 a year, purchased at Norris PD. Range is about 7 minute drive from PD. They will give key and directions at PD. Membership expires June 30th regardless of purchase date.

I need to renew and get a key, morning may be good, before it gets too hot.

As of now, I'm planning on this weekend.

The saddest part as I am starting to watch, is his prognosis is improving. When we know what the outcome is.

Who cuts his hair, Stevie Wonder?

Only 25 for me.

Who funds these individuals?

Yes, as far as I know, it's run by the county. I know it's outside of OR city limits.

Aren't they the ones who managed to get their speed boat in the path of a large slow moving Japanes ship?

Try the County Park, on the right just outside of Oak Ridge going toward Clinton. Anderson County voted to opt out. They have boat launches and picnic tables.

"Floyd D. Barber"

Or the way they removed a former members tattoo on "Sons of Anarchy"

You also need a certified birth certificate or a passport.

"You're not gonna like Thursdays"

Saw the co-owner of the bar on TV. She said that someone bumped into one of the players, he tried to apologize and the player(s) responded by wailling on him. I wonder if she makes a habit of serving all minors, or just VIP's.