Luckyforward

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.' She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.' 'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.' She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.' The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!' 'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.' The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. 'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?' 'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.' The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.' HAPPY HALLOWEEN !!!

Oh, I forgot another . . . I was shooting skeet a few years ago, and after I yelled "Pull", shot at the clay pigeon, broke it, and a dove also fell . . . guess it happened by at the wrong time!

It does take the pressure off him for awhile . . . I hope it helps him!

I was 16 years old and was squirrel hunting with my trusty 16 ga. L.C. Smith double barrel. I saw two squirrels run out on a limb, and I slowly raised the gun and pulled the trigger. When I went over to see what I shot, there were 4 . . . yes, four, dead squirrels lying there! I guess they must have bunched up and the shot caught them all, but 4 squirrels in one shot! Back in those days, the limit for squirrels in TN was 6. I went hunting at 6 AM, killed two by 6:30, killed 4 in one shot around 6:50. Only time in my life I killed my limit in less than an hour!

You and I are in the SAME boat . . .

Ain't no way I'd carry it . . . afraid one missed shot would have me singing 3 or 4 octaves higher . . .

It was a good ball game . . . Titans played well, and Collins is staying consistent. I just wonder where Vince is in his mind right now about not playing?

I am pleased to say that this was not a letter I personally received!

Back in the early '70s, everyone wanted a Franchi 12 ga. shotgun for hunting because it was so light. You could walk all day bird hunting because this gun was so light. The other problem: THAT GUN WOULD KNOCK THE CRAP OUT OF YOU! I shot it three times, my shoulder turned a lovely shade of purplish blue and yellow, swelled up, and hurt like a toothache!

> A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. >> > He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his >> > leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. >> > A few days later he received a parcel with the following note: >> > >> > >> > Dear Sir, >> > Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will >> > cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as >> > a pirate. >> > >> > Very truly yours, >> > >> > Acme Costume Co. >> > >> > The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his >> > wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint, and returns the >> > costume. >> > A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says: >> > >> > Dear Sir, >> > Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will >> > cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look >> > the part. >> > >> > Very truly yours, >> > Acme Costume Co. >> > >> > Now the man is really upset since they have gone from >> > emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he >> > writes the company another nasty letter of complaint, returning the >> > costume. >> > >> > The next day he gets a small parcel and a note, which >> > reads: >> > >> > >> > Dear Sir, >> > >> > Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on the crushed >> > nuts, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple. >> > >> > Very truly yours, >> > Acme Costume Co

Or at least let us come drive them one Saturday a month . . .

Police probe gun show after boy killed by Uzi Mon Oct 27, 2008 1:55pm EDT BOSTON (Reuters) - Authorities in Massachusetts are investigating a gun fair where an 8-year-old boy died after accidentally shooting himself in the head with an Uzi submachine gun while under adult supervision, police said on Monday. Christopher Bizilj lost control of the weapon on Sunday at the Machine Gun Shoot & Firearms Expo at a sportsman's club in Westfield, a city about 96 miles west of the state capital Boston, police said. He was rushed to hospital, where he was pronounced dead. Under Massachusetts law, children can legally fire a weapon if they are supervised by a licensed instructor and have consent from a parent or legal guardian, but gun control advocates said the boy should never have been allowed to fire the military-grade weapon. "An Uzi or AK-47 should never be in the hands of an 8-year-old. It's a weapon of war. It's used on a battlefield by trained soldiers," said Jerry Belair, legislative director for Stop Handgun Violence, a Massachusetts nonprofit. Westfield Police Lt. Hipolito Nunez said local and state police, the Hampden district attorney and the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives were investigating the shooting. He said they were looking into whether the boy from Ashford, Connecticut, had parental consent and whether the gun fair followed state laws.

They stopped and searched my boat all the time when I lived on the North Carolina coast.

Once again, people go making other people's business their own . . . Let the man raise his son the way he wishes!

I got lost in Memphis week before last . . . I learned that speed limits there are just suggestions . . .

Where is Lakeland, TN?

As a public minded citizen, I want to thank you for taking out that rabid cantaloupe. You no doubt gave comfort to your community!

This is the one gun that I have yet to hold in my hands . . . will do!

You may have solved my problem . . . I just needed a bit more room. Thanks

I liked the sub, but it felt so small in my hand, and I do not have giant hands. Thanks for the education on the "POS" issue . . . I'm stupid, but not dumb!

BTW . . . did some gun shop looking, and as I am the one who started this thread, I thought I'd update you on my progress. I REALLY liked the XD 45 compact; shot it and liked it. But . . . I shot the XD service in .40 and liked it; it is larger and will be a bit more difficult to conceal. If I win the lottery, I'll buy both. Until I win, I'm not altogether sure.

OK . . . so just what is a "POS" weapon? Educate me, please.

Wow . . . what a day . . . and what a memory that you have created for your son and for yourself. Congratulations, Bronk . . . you are now immortalized in your son's mind and heart. What he has experienced with you will live with him long after you are gone.

HIS GOLDFISH DIED! I am incensed! I am calling the ASPCA!

Well, said, Fallguy