Timestepper

I envy you guys. Last time I golfed I broke my leg. (Fell off the ball washer.) Still enjoy watching it, but my wife prefers watching, oh... just about anything else including tectonic plates shifting, grass growing and pavement cracking (she says it's just as exciting and more productive). If Freddie can pull it off, it'd be great, but he's still got 2 more days to choke.

This. Not only is Snopes.com hooey, but it's hooey with a decidedly left wing slant. (Or is that redundant?)

The two that we make most often are sassafras and peppermint tea. We have sassafras growing all over our ridge and mostly use it for a general health tonic, although it also makes a great soothing sore throat wash and home made sassafras candy makes for an excellent cough drop. Peppermint tea is generally used for indigestion and other maladies of the digestive tract. (Also have some store-bought licorice root tea for the same purpose and sometimes combine it with Peppermint tea.) Not a tea, but we also use dried mullein (AKA Rabbit's ear/Indian tobacco) for breaking up severe chest congestion: Just put several dried leaves into a fire safe container (ashtray, stoneware bowl, empty tuna can, etc...) and light, then extinguish the flame so that it smolders and inhale the smoke. I guess you could also roll it into a cigarette or smoke it in a pipe, but we prefer just a simple smudge pot affair so the smoke is not as concentrated.

I dunno - looked staged to me. Either way, the biggest mistake someone could make is to come at my vehicle with an axe. I mean come one, 4 pounds of steel vs. 2,000? Just don't equate in my book. On the other hand, I don't think I'd wanna' honk at this little old lady:

Ok, I'll take a shot at this! I'd like to apologize to my third grade teacher - I really didn't know that she didn't like snakes. I'd like to apologize to the snake - I swear I really believed her when she said that she loved all creatures. I'd like to apologize to the janitor - I didn't know she was going do that much damage to her desk... and the blackboard... and the trash can. I'd like to apologize to the rest of the kids in the room - I didn't realize that what I initially thought were shrieks of joy would lead to pre-mature hearing loss as middle-aged adults. While I'm at it, I should probably even go a step or two further and apologize to a former friend, whom I knew was terrified of snakes, for all those times that I tossed a piece of rope at him and hollered, “SNAKE!!!!†And also for the time, after he said, “Oh hardy, freakin’ har! Can’t you at least do something original for a change?!!†that I caught a grass snake and tossed it into his lap and hollered, “ROPE!!!†Maybe I should even apologize to his wife for the torn and soiled clothing which indirectly resulted from the aforementioned attempt at originality... On the other hand, it is what it is and life is what you make of it... and if I were to be completely honest, the only truly sincere and contrite apologies would be to the snake(s).

Well, they were 35 - 40 years ago. No guarantees today...

3. Find a jet skier who can successfully capsize my canoe without actually ramming me... and then shake their hand in congratulation just before I beat them to muddy dust with a canoe paddle.

Yeah, but what a way to go! You know, when you think about it, life itself is just another sexually transmitted, ultimately terminal disease.

Yep, and then there's me...

You may not be the only who didn't know, but back when I was a kid we'd tear apart lantern batteries to get the D's out, simply because back then one six volt cost us less than four D's.

1. Live until I die and continue to enjoy whatever fishing/hunting opportunities present themselves, whenever and where ever they happen to be. 2. Get shot by a jealous husband at the age 110 whilst showing his 25 year old wife what else "we used to do down at the old fishin' hole."

Really foggy on the Clinch this morning. (But awesomely quiet and serene!)

Dang - wish you'd posted this last week before I took everything to the recycling center - I could have fixed you up with about 10 cases that I'd been saving up for a friend in Kansas over the past five years or so. (He quit making wine last year, but didn't tell me until last month when I told him I was gonna' bring 'em all with me when I come up in September.)

I was at the other end - always did real good in English & American Lit., Creative Writing and Journalism.

Between the mosquitoes and the humidity, I'd be looking for somewhere else to defend. Let the bad guys have it, they probably deserve it.

Besides being nearby (20 minutes from where I live), the Clinch River Tail waters below Norris Dam are just flat out pretty and peaceful... plus there's some decent fish. Anyone up for a float? Yepper, the Clinch is the one mistress my lovely wife allows me to have... and the only one I really want or need.

This has been floating around for a while, and I know most of us have seen most of these before, but it kinda' gave me a warm fuzzy to see them again in condensed form. Hope you enjoy! ...Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. A penny saved is a government oversight. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. He who hesitates is probably right. Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL.' If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt . Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.' Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way; I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads weren't paved. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down. . Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth, AMEN.

Scary what passes for Memphis.

Actually, this was supper last night... but it'll be lunch today and tomorrow! (Sprinkled with rosemary/garlic dust, basted with Corona and Coca Cola and smoked lightly with a combination of cherry and mesquite chips. Delicious!)

What kind of snake is it? I'll tell you what kind: The best kind... DEAD! (Please, no flames from snake lovers - I actually have two snakes of my own: One buried in the garden and one sleeping under my pickup... tire.)

I'd be happy to take you some weekend - I'm only about 3 - 3 1/2 hours away. If you're up for it, we could do either a 5, 10 or 15 mile float. Usually spend anywhere from 3 to 6 hours actually on the river with a stop for lunch. Got some good pics from different float trips I've done... maybe I'll start a thread and post some of 'em if anyone's interested?

Yep, but thank God for his boldness! Built a motel in Connecticut several years ago and got addicted to raw oysters on the half-shell washed down with Moulson's Golden. MMMMmmm!

Yep, tough call for me because I love bass and crappie fishing, too. On the other hand, in 20 minutes I can have the canoe on the tailwaters of Norris Reservoir (on the Clinch) with crystal clear 42 - 45 degree water and fishing the area where the state record brown was caught. (And if you're lucky, you can even pick up a smallmouth or two on occasion.)

Super! Nice catch! Me and a buddy are going out Sunday, but we haven't decided yet whether to canoe the Clinch after trout or hit Melton Hill Reservoir (lower down on the Clinch) in the rowboat and try for some crappie and bass.

That's probably what everyone thought until one caveman guy was bold enough to say, "Hey ya'll, see them hangy-down things on that big critter with the horns? I'm gonna' squeeze 'em and drink what comes out!" Or, "Hey, see that thing that just dropped outta' that bird's rear? I'm gonna' crack it open and eat whatever's inside!" Know what I think is nasty? Tofu.