Timestepper

Cross your fingers, Dave - we might be leaving your part of the state about the same time. (I've got to deliver in Franklin in the morning, but don't yet know where I'll be reloading.) ...Don...

Since you ask, yeah, I'd rather have my youthful good looks back and a bevy of ''bountiful'' beauties to fawn over me. (Of course, I realize that ain't likely to happen, so I'll happily settle for the cinnamon bread - especially if it's homemade!)

I'll bring my awesome self and show up as soon as I can. Oh, and a dozen or two fresh eggs for breakfast (just to prove how awesome I am!)

Gettin' closer! I went out to Spots' place for a while on Saturday and I can personally vouch for the area - absolutely beautiful! (And ol' Spots is a pretty decent guy, too!) My biggest hope now is that I get in off the road in time to make it out Friday afternoon/evening so as to spend some time bendin' elbows and swappin' stories Friday night. One thing to note - there's not a whole lot of stumps to sit on, so if you have any problems with sitting on the ground you might want to bring a lawn chair or camp stool to park your carcass on. ...TS...

But Obama's supporter don't want jobs, they want paychecks.

If you're blundering around so much that you allow that to happen, then you probably deserve what you get.

Another little known fact is that as soon as you invite someone over to pick a favorite ''private'' patch where the berries have always been huge and plentiful, the TVA will come along and drop trees, spray defoliant and just generally do their best to ruin that patch for everyone for the foreseeable future.

I have mine where no one can find it - right out in the back yard! (Hey, if the mail carrier and pizza delivery people can't find our place, I'm not much worried about some dumb@ss thief!)

I was raised and learned to shoot with a single shot. Most of the guns I own now are single shot. Yeah, I know that I wouldn't last five minutes against all you guys that can throw a whole box of bullets down range in the time it takes me to get off one shot, BUT all of my shots depend upon great placement. And if I'm in a survival situation where all I've got is a .22 and I'm hungry, believe me, I'll make that shot count.

Brag up your prowess as a genuine backwoodsman, then take along a small can of black eyed peas. When your buddy isn't looking, pour a small pile on a relatively clean patch of ground. Point them out to your buddy. Say, "Hey look, deer scat!" Then REALLY prove your backwoods prowess by tasting them. Say something like, "Yep! Whitetail buck... 'bout 3 years old..." Taste them again. Say, "And he's been browsing on juniper berries and white acorns!"

Yep! And he should be high-fived... in the face... with a 2X4.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed†to “Peeved.†Soon, though security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated†or even “A Tad Bit Cross.†Londoners have not been “A Tad Bit Cross†since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome†to a “Bloody Nuisance.†The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance†warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run†to “Hide.†The only two higher levels in France are “Surrender†and “Collaborate.†The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability. It’s not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly†to “Elaborate Military Posturing.†Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations†and “Change Sides.†The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance†to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.†They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor†and “Lose.†Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

And behind every good woman is a man... staring at her butt! I look forward to meeting both Mr. & Mrs. Dolomite (as well as several other TGO'ers!) in a week and a half at our primitive skills get together. (Gettin' so close I can almost taste it!)

Oh, and one other thing - Granted that the one I own is the only one I've ever seen in person, but a collapsible canoe cart for portaging - or just getting back & forth from the truck to the water - is absolutely worth it's weight in gold. (And doesn't take up much room!) Here's a couple of not-so-great pics of mine:

Been a canoeist a good portion of my life, from some of the really big waters out West to tiny little creeks that need to be irrigated just to maintain "creek" status. I've had a couple of different canoes and different boats work better for different waters. Currently I've got a 16 foot keeled flat bottom plastic somethin' or other that more than pays back in stability and "fishability" what it lacks in maneuverability. And I've used it in everything from Class II + rapids to calm, shallow creeks and big lakes. It's been mentioned - and I wholeheartedly agree - that a 15 or 16 footer is going to be ideal for what you want it for. Anything longer and you lose maneuverability. Anything shorter and you lose stability. (And when you're relatively new to canoeing, stability is very important.) Good luck and welcome to the ranks!

Spots - I'm on a tight budget and getting tighter myself, but I should be able to chip in a couple extra dozen egg from our girls if folks don't mind eating free range cackle berries. Beyond that, I kinda' think everyone should be on their own hook as far as food goes. I mean, you're already going out of your way to host this at no charge to anyone and feeding everyone for free on top of it is kinda' like paying them to show up. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see a bunch of folks out there and it sounds like WD-40 has a heckuva' program planned, but if the only way people will show up is if we bribe them with free food, then how much are they actually gonna' get out of the get together? ...TS...

Aw, c'mon, tell us! (If you kill like you type, we won't have much to worry about.) Seriously, if you can't use it, why use it? That's like carrying a canteen of water that you can't drink - not much good for anything except slinging around and saying, "Hey, look at this useless thing I've got" Dang man, don't mean to tell you how to live your life or anything, but I think right now might be a real good time to slink back into obscurity... (Please don't kill me, I know a secret too, and if I'm gone then no one will ever know what I'm not supposed to tell them!)

Naw, Dave, you got it backwards - 50 is what you hit the first time the doctor checks your postulate! (Where the hell is the jumping over the moon emoticon when you need it?)

With all due respect, I was raised that if you've got time to do something, you've got time to un-do it. Put another way, if you've got time to start it, you'd better darned well have time to finish it. Otherwise, it devolves into exactly what this thread has devolved into: "You said something bad about me and you suck!" "I didn't neither - you take that back!" "Nuh-uh, I don't gotta'!" "Okay, so what did I say?" "Doesn't matter - I don't have time to remember it all, but someone somewhere said it and you still suck!" Come and get me, Lord, but please don't punish me for being dumb enough to click on this thread. SHEESH!

And I'd be willing to bet that fellow TGO'er ''WD-40'' isn't really a lubricant, either - although he may very well know some 'oily' people...

I explained to my ex-wife once that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening." (My apologies, but it seems that the previous bad joke is at least as relevant as this thread. )

I'll play - although I'm not really ''playing'' since I've actually given this a tremendous amount of thought... I'm a truck driver. If I'm stuck in Atlanta when TSHTF, I'll use the truck (provided it's immobile) as a base for a couple of days while I take stock of the situation and solidify plans to get back home (to East Tennessee). First order of business would be to take stock of what I've got in the truck that would help me get home: Crowbar? Check. Bedding? Check. Folding knives and diamond hone? Check. Basic toiletries and minor first aid kit? Check. Several different ways to make fire? Check. Something to carry water in and something to boil water in as well as a few basic food items? Check. Tarps that can be cut up and used as portable water proof shelter? Check. Mini binoculars? Check. 4 inch cargo straps which could conceivably serve a multitude of uses? Check. Etc, etc... After that, I'd do some late night/early morning reconnaissance and see what else I could come up with that would help in my primary objective of getting home in one piece - this is where the crowbar might come in real damned handy. If I can come up with a good bicycle, preferably an off-road or mountain type, so much the better, although I wouldn't be terribly particular at first. Might even be able to pick up another knife and/or a firearm and ammo (can't carry in the truck due to company policy, so I'd be automatically gun-less at the start). After I've gotten as organized and squared away as possible, it'll be time to move out. Traveling primary routes at night would be the quickest way out and a bicycle would provide great mobility and maneuverability as well as being reasonably quiet. I'm guessing that, at least at first, I'd do my best to travel alone and avoid contact with others as much as possible, although that might change due to circumstances. So I guess that's it in a slightly over simplified nutshell. On foot, it'd probably take me 3 weeks or a month to get home (from Atlanta) and my wife and I have previously agreed upon an allowable time period in which to expect me if this scenario should indeed ever take place. If I can find a bicycle, then that should cut the travel time to about a week, depending upon what ''difficulties'' I encounter along the way. ...TS...

My best friend and I were doing the living history thing out at Fort Hays State Historic Site (in Kansas) and we'd been doing a lot of shooting, but were getting ready to demonstrate flint & steel fire starting to a group of 3rd graders. I was just about to start explaining when an absolutely adorable little blonde haired, blue eyed girl - kneeling, with index fingers poised to plug her ears - asked, "Is the fire gonna' be loud?" I was about about to assure her that, "No, hun - the fire won't be loud." When my best friend beat me to the punch and quipped, "Only if he whacks his fingers with his striker again - then it'll be loud and blue!" To make a short story shorter, I cracked up and got to laughing so hard I couldn't even continue and he ended up having to do the demonstration!

I think I've had it backwards all these years - I keep makin' nothin' outta' somethin'...

Incredible! ''Infantry soldiers have already been through hell, so when they die they go straight to heaven...'' That line put a lump in my throat. Absolutely incredible... :usa: